https://verycoolstory.com Jolly_Doom Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:03:27 +0000 https://verycoolstory.com en https://verycoolstory.com/SINCE-THEN Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:03:27 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/SINCE-THEN SINCE THEN ︎ WORK IN PROGRESS ~~~~~ Alright alright, the fluctuations of the creative process and my own bizarre compulsive need to archive my life. I did the Japan Zine, I finally finished the last post on here (Chapter End, from the corporate days), and now I’m working on THE BIG BRAND. So, currently, I’ve had enough with the painstaking organization and clean coherent-ish linear storytelling. TIME FOR FUN! Or something like that...btw tonight, starting this post, it’s monday october 21, 2024... there’s no fukn dates on this site AND continuing it, it’s thursday january 23, 2025... back in key west under the influence of NOTHING BUT JOY !! fear&amp;loathing_in_the_tropicsAnd now it is late phase February. PHASES CONTINUE! It seems this may just be life, strange as that is to admit.a brief period of seeming normalcy&nbsp; AND THEN we hit a phase of turmoil. It is now the end of Summer 2025, the beginning of Fall 2025, and I am thinking about wrapping this up. Perhaps I’ll think of some cohesive narrative to include below to tie it all together. And then perhaps I’ll just stick to the theme this post began with and let it be a joyously chaotic splurge, having had enough need for rhyme and reason in all the other facets of my life...&nbsp;Whatever. NEWER: <img width="2202" height="2855" width_o="2202" height_o="2855" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4deb2ddd0d236f12c65d143b8c0abb47b30992309d1d3602848e87966871c3c3/tough_times_piece-copy.jpg" data-mid="237676140" border="0" data-scale="71" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4deb2ddd0d236f12c65d143b8c0abb47b30992309d1d3602848e87966871c3c3/tough_times_piece-copy.jpg" />&amp; then some kind of chronological-ish order <img width="2301" height="2982" width_o="2301" height_o="2982" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0f07c97ce21b59c9e31dc5c9a9cd014342090f5ed34c21ae01e74a9aec7751da/hi_on_couch-copy.jpg" data-mid="220100482" border="0" data-scale="59" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0f07c97ce21b59c9e31dc5c9a9cd014342090f5ed34c21ae01e74a9aec7751da/hi_on_couch-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2881" height="3099" width_o="2881" height_o="3099" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1a3e5b74f6158cd2880080dbc3ce321175b8acd196881f5a17368c4514ab301c/brunch-lol-copy.jpg" data-mid="220101975" border="0" data-scale="62" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1a3e5b74f6158cd2880080dbc3ce321175b8acd196881f5a17368c4514ab301c/brunch-lol-copy.jpg" /> <img width="1326" height="1760" width_o="1326" height_o="1760" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0b9d0162bc6304dc28aede8f683348bfb7722792221b51e503c445c7c4ea2f5d/tammy-by-panthenon-copy.png" data-mid="220102233" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0b9d0162bc6304dc28aede8f683348bfb7722792221b51e503c445c7c4ea2f5d/tammy-by-panthenon-copy.png" /> <img width="2891" height="3854" width_o="2891" height_o="3854" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4534bd0aa75dbefe890685f44494f95cf6917787f6c3def42bfe10b7a81cdc94/Hard-to-hold-two_2.jpg" data-mid="220102258" border="0" data-scale="61" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4534bd0aa75dbefe890685f44494f95cf6917787f6c3def42bfe10b7a81cdc94/Hard-to-hold-two_2.jpg" /> 5/20/24, Monday Gray days. The sun retreats for four, five, seven days. There is rain but really no impressive storm, no clash of thunder or flash of lightning or howl of wind. Just a steady drizzle with spurts of heavier drops. And then there are the times of bright sky, you know, where you step outside and still feel the need for sunglasses despite the total hiding of the sun behind the blanket of clouds. Just a blanket of gray for days on end. Inevitably, the mood recedes from the high water mark. This can happen in varying degrees - sometimes it’s outright depressing after becoming a fat oozing slug trapped inside a dark dank cave for so many days, staying in prime slug condition with the small spurts outside for some little chore or errand when the rainwater can be absorbed through the gray slimy skin, just enough to keep the slug systems running. And sometimes it’s only a slight check on the spirits, reasons often unknowable, but perhaps there’s enough of the bright gray sky for a walk in the park, or perhaps you’re overdue for some extended time with the television and the couch and you don’t have to transform completely into a slime, or perhaps you’re just lucky and for the usual fluke cosmic reasons your mood doesn’t morph to match the amorphous gray blanket across the sky and you can continue on only slightly subconsciously stunted. Yeah, however slightly or severely the effects are felt for that particular stint, they are present. That’s just part of the gray days. There are moments of awareness throughout, but often, the gray blanket simply becomes the standard state of being, as if the maximum possible level of feeling has been reduced and so the lack of the upper ranges isn’t even noticed - those levels simply do not exist. And it goes on like that, mundanely so, until one big morning all of the sudden and all at once the gray blanket has dissipated, has been ripped back and off and the big bright blue is everywhere, and the sun shines down warm and truly bright, not that half-brightness of the reflective gray ceiling, but a shining shimmering thing that touches the skin sweetly, and the high sky and maybe clean distant wind reset the scale, and the upper levels are suddenly there and possible again, and almost instantly the dull gray days are a strange notion of the past, and the life of a wet lethargic slug seems like an impossibility, an absurdity, something comical even though it was something just lived and not so amusing while it happened… The gray days are there and they become the norm and then they are gone suddenly and completely, and it is not until then that the realization of just how abnormal that normal was can dawn. Life can become small, when the truth is it is always vast. Emerging from the dark cave, from under the heavy rock, a slug smiling in the sunlight under the big blue sky - it’s something sweet. HERE IT COMES BUDDY!!&nbsp; <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a7271632d0f12127da896b2f66d954a691fd21fee49fcc399c9a5e4472f8ffc8/cold-sumr-new-old-copy.jpg" data-mid="220107804" border="0" data-scale="69" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a7271632d0f12127da896b2f66d954a691fd21fee49fcc399c9a5e4472f8ffc8/cold-sumr-new-old-copy.jpg" /><img width="3845" height="2979" width_o="3845" height_o="2979" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9915d14f323dbec67e5c7cb83dcab34bd3664a1fc9e5ce1a72aca8ea8be9329a/sfus-copy.jpg" data-mid="220102586" border="0" data-scale="68" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9915d14f323dbec67e5c7cb83dcab34bd3664a1fc9e5ce1a72aca8ea8be9329a/sfus-copy.jpg" /><img width="2260" height="3181" width_o="2260" height_o="3181" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/64272f81585985f7bd3cccc48a9ebf65488da31ffbebe9830df850b529e93cb3/euro-bldg-copy.jpg" data-mid="220103107" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/64272f81585985f7bd3cccc48a9ebf65488da31ffbebe9830df850b529e93cb3/euro-bldg-copy.jpg" /> ^^^ this is in France. I tend to exist emphatically outside of France. I was in France for one day with my girlfriend. We disembarked from a Very Big Boat in Marseille, and I asked the man to drop us off in the northwest corner of of the Old Port. He was a Russian man and he explained the allure of France very well. He had been in France for many years and he was leaving France very soon. Or was that in Spain with the allure of Spain and leaving Spain very soon? My head was and remains foggy to this day. We hiked up many hills and haphazardly ducked into a Dutch coffee shop. After that brief stay we wandered and wandered and wandered and I took photographs that I though might be meaningful at a later time, and pigeons splashed in the near-empty fountain and we climbed our way back down to the Old Port itself and walked out to the far point and swung our legs over the sea and thought about how nice it might have been to be someone else in another place. <img width="3600" height="3600" width_o="3600" height_o="3600" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4d97c8baedabfc8ddb51495e0d4195fc815e9096008de0fc127bee30bb9802d8/SATURDAY-MORNINGS-copy.jpg" data-mid="220103364" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4d97c8baedabfc8ddb51495e0d4195fc815e9096008de0fc127bee30bb9802d8/SATURDAY-MORNINGS-copy.jpg" /> SATURDAY MORNINGS as we once knew them don’t have to be dead! There are enough other days and times to be taken with existential dread and a vague sense of impending doom. Saturday mornings, regardless of other life obligations, can be made to be sweet and pleasant and far away from everything else, at least some times... at least often enough to not be so sweet that they must be treated as some kind of supreme rarity, because of course that spoils whatever chance there was of it being really... enjoyable. So I started surfing again in September after spending enough time recovering from the harsh shock of 7.5 years in the corporate consulting world and about 6-7 months of being a big cunt. It’s tough to overcome a condition like that, as being a big cunt is not unknown to be terminal, or at least permanent. But eventually, you just have to force it through... hence my purchase of the PARTY PLATTER. <img width="3600" height="3600" width_o="3600" height_o="3600" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a6820fc899afec6fdae6c96923af0e886a8547d2120aaa2e8880a389c1d53ce9/SURFBORT-copy.jpg" data-mid="220104510" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a6820fc899afec6fdae6c96923af0e886a8547d2120aaa2e8880a389c1d53ce9/SURFBORT-copy.jpg" /> CAMP PHOTOS Here we have a series of photographs taken on my Fujifilm Instax, scanned in, blown up, and lightly edited for digital viewing pleasure. Early October in Frisco after roughly 10 years not going there. 12 photo slide show so this shit doesn’t become too long of a scroll. You can click through at your own pace, though it will auto advance. <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/032d477f0583d2bbc80789b37d7e80179100b6b6e8f85dc2d4601a03abd51f93/BASE-CAMP-copy.png" data-mid="220098878" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/032d477f0583d2bbc80789b37d7e80179100b6b6e8f85dc2d4601a03abd51f93/BASE-CAMP-copy.png" /> <img width="1352" height="1800" width_o="1352" height_o="1800" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/38077a226f0b8fa202253a63f27b461fdbbe7e9843bbe87ddf5235d75ec4b5c9/david-cookin-copy.png" data-mid="220098880" border="0" data-scale="51" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/38077a226f0b8fa202253a63f27b461fdbbe7e9843bbe87ddf5235d75ec4b5c9/david-cookin-copy.png" /> <img width="1352" height="1800" width_o="1352" height_o="1800" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b9ace1730d57621fad704ceddc268e88059242bd58af90409d4c0b806fc0860a/david-pouring-1-copy.png" data-mid="220098883" border="0" data-scale="50" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b9ace1730d57621fad704ceddc268e88059242bd58af90409d4c0b806fc0860a/david-pouring-1-copy.png" /> <img width="1352" height="1800" width_o="1352" height_o="1800" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5c5d18d1d1c4e281b87be777b016aaf0570724330c816ef185faae7b3157a437/david-pouring-2-copy.png" data-mid="220098884" border="0" data-scale="50" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5c5d18d1d1c4e281b87be777b016aaf0570724330c816ef185faae7b3157a437/david-pouring-2-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8c575f81c25708306dd5e49ece22d3af766bab32d22fe7265a132fcbffa81b2c/david-n-rex-on-dune-top-copy.png" data-mid="220098882" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8c575f81c25708306dd5e49ece22d3af766bab32d22fe7265a132fcbffa81b2c/david-n-rex-on-dune-top-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/009e05f347e5b2154899352d8fbdd71b2c63e545c0ff814d62ae2df2cac4dd0b/david-in-ocean-copy.png" data-mid="220098881" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/009e05f347e5b2154899352d8fbdd71b2c63e545c0ff814d62ae2df2cac4dd0b/david-in-ocean-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2dd33e6e2a20499836c61bf5b9e91c0af67351415e6a601e686ec79da2d11d43/fotoshoot-foto-copy.png" data-mid="220098885" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2dd33e6e2a20499836c61bf5b9e91c0af67351415e6a601e686ec79da2d11d43/fotoshoot-foto-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/65495796b2600c5a62a26614b29de1de9e8b17dc17b3f5fa6ca8c8e226ea666c/squad-pose-copy.png" data-mid="220098899" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/65495796b2600c5a62a26614b29de1de9e8b17dc17b3f5fa6ca8c8e226ea666c/squad-pose-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/84e55417160c00535086bf89f4ce45f6ff50a1a02d7704ca0c9ad344c0c0206b/night-landscape-copy.png" data-mid="220098890" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/84e55417160c00535086bf89f4ce45f6ff50a1a02d7704ca0c9ad344c0c0206b/night-landscape-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c9afd34680925fd4fbdc223217d7ba92d6cc3cf93fde9c4e718a6bf53f071d82/rex-n-david-hats-copy.png" data-mid="220098893" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c9afd34680925fd4fbdc223217d7ba92d6cc3cf93fde9c4e718a6bf53f071d82/rex-n-david-hats-copy.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1e50c4b0f5212bb5f2726051bf353ee6e71406123e08c6c067b16cdf51a49d11/rex-w-fire-copy-2.png" data-mid="220098896" border="0" data-scale="67" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1e50c4b0f5212bb5f2726051bf353ee6e71406123e08c6c067b16cdf51a49d11/rex-w-fire-copy-2.png" /> <img width="1789" height="1335" width_o="1789" height_o="1335" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/05b791d73bb35dafe2c31b51ba96d008f102e757755780754876d1807a5b6a1d/NIGHT-BASE-CAMP-copy.png" data-mid="220098887" border="0" data-scale="67" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/05b791d73bb35dafe2c31b51ba96d008f102e757755780754876d1807a5b6a1d/NIGHT-BASE-CAMP-copy.png" /> ︎︎︎︎︎ 10/20/24, Sunday SHEESH - I’ve been busy, I’ve been on the go, but it’s been overarchingly good. Surfing, camping, diving, maintaining some level of general momentum on my large scale pursuit. Of course, there are still the stumbles and the downs all along the way, but when I crack open an archive - a journal from a year or three ago say - it grants me perspective. Yes, questions still abound, but by comparison to where I was, great progress has been made, and the path is not so… repulsive. Perhaps still daunting, but not repulsive. A little&nbsp;︎︎︎︎ on a Sunday, duties all done, a strange canned drink to sip on, some combination of black tea and kava and kratom. Keep the blinds closed for the time being, set the lamps to blue and low, let Sunday Morning by the Velvet Underground play, try to wind down, down, down slow, slow, slow… I don’t want any big questions to stalk me at a time like this so I have to keep my tracks covered, even from myself, lest I unknowingly leave some clue they can detect but I can’t even notice is there, and then next thing I know they’re leaping out of the shadowy brush snarling and clawing and gnashing great white dagger teeth thirsting for BLOOD - no, let’s take it easy, bud. Not worth the risk at a time like this. Ignorance is indeed bliss. Shut it all down for the time being - save it for tomorrow. I am no longer bound to the standard 9-5 schedule, but tomorrow is in fact Monday, and at this juncture it suits me to play along with the trope. IT ALL BEGINS MONDAY. Yes… and the times remain strange and turbulent. We’re coming up on the Presidential Election now, and it’s a big one. THE FATE OF THE NATION! Meanwhile, the State of the Nation remains a strange combination of happy idiocy and general malaise - the American Way. Superficially superb, comforts and conveniences abound, all wrapped into our daily lives and so taken for granted and not seen as the immense luxuries they would have been just a few generations ago. And underneath that outer level, just a SMIDGE down into the ether, we’re wretched and ragged and near collapse, or perhaps not collapse, but something more explosive or implosive - something more dramatic and full of deep personal failings. A fresh layer of pavement over a sinkhole of unknown depth and breadth. That new Ford F-150 King Ranch looks DAZZLING as it passes over, dad being an American MAN, mom smiling in the sun, kids laughing in the backseat, small hairline fractures running and splaying out across the clean black tar beneath, but not tearing wide and breaking through and opening the gateway into oblivion just yet - and that’s all that matters. That new sparkling truck and happy happy family will pass by unscathed, and it won’t be until the next truck and family, or the next, or the next passes over that the great black hole appears and swallows them up and then lets no one pass at all for a great and unknown quantity of time. Yes, it’s inevitable that it will happen, and probably soon, but it’s not happening right now at this moment so it doesn’t matter, and even though maybe it does matter, it’s so hard to care when everything is new and shiny and smiling, and so who cares, really, who really has the time or the energy to care… THE AMERICAN WAY. Yeah, true, but what the fuck do I know about it? I’m a little high on the couch gearing up to watch some fine fine TELEVISION for the evening. I’ve got leftover pizza in the fridge, pizza that took two hours to be delivered from six minutes away, from a pizza company whose anonymous corporate system politely told me to go fuck myself when I complained. Good pizza! Although they were also out of ranch. But I’ll eat the pizza and I’ll watch the television and I’ll lay on the couch next to my mold-laden wall that my leasing company will not fix or compensate me for in any way, and I’ll think to myself, hey, hey, not bad man, not a bad little life you’ve got here. Superficially superb, but just a smiiiiiidge down underneath, into the ether, where the big questions prowl around… Eh, what do I know? I’m not looking. Ignorance is bliss and I’m a blissful American Man. <img width="2240" height="2239" width_o="2240" height_o="2239" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/263d9f22a22f8e990dda12cd418ff84f32995985b092fd6ec7616924a8008728/STICKIES-copy-3.jpg" data-mid="220109148" border="0" data-scale="53" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/263d9f22a22f8e990dda12cd418ff84f32995985b092fd6ec7616924a8008728/STICKIES-copy-3.jpg" />JOLLY DOOM<img width="2400" height="3000" width_o="2400" height_o="3000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/6800c4fc13ed51c5c9a95889778f70784df8c719cb08cdaef053a6cb3b031bed/no-bs-creature-fin.jpg" data-mid="225376637" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/6800c4fc13ed51c5c9a95889778f70784df8c719cb08cdaef053a6cb3b031bed/no-bs-creature-fin.jpg" /> 11/19/24, Tuesday As a child I had a crippling anxiety, a strange kind of constant writhing torment that stayed with me for a period of time, partly a potent obsessive compulsive disorder causing me to be terrified of strange things like accidentally lying to anybody, but many parts other things - an early form of the darkness that would come back to afflict me as a teenager, then more as a purple billowing cloud of depression. Now, it is different, and I am glad for that. It is not the all-pervasive and all-permeating writhing thing that it was then. But I do still have a form of it. Now, it is more of a long-pulsating dread that rides beneath my psyche. Sometimes, between pulses, it is dull and distant. But when that pulse shoots out hard it can still send shockwaves through my system. The inside of my mind does not look like the outside presentation that I show the world. No, it is a harder thing to wrangle. It is not as terrifying as it was when I was a child, but I do have to regularly remind myself that everything is ok - it is actually ok. The dread and the doom that I feel do not have to carry their full weight. The weight can be dispersed, or counteracted - negated in some way, at least partially. But I have to work at this, fairly constantly. As time goes by and I move farther along in life I have begun to come to terms with this, realizing that it is just a part of my mind. It has to be managed - or, as I said before, wrangled - but it does not have to be allowed to run amuck. I do not wish to let it consume me and so I will not. It is not that simple, of course, and yet in some ways it is. Sometimes when you look inside and you see boiling turmoil and fervent stirring you just have to choose to let everything be ok. You have to choose it. I creep up to the crossroads of life. I approach cautiously, peering around the corners, peeking about and assessing, finding a vantage point to perch upon and observe for a while. I must come to know the place, the conditions, the potential pathways. I must perform my calculus. On the outside, and sometimes even on the inside on the straightaways and the in-betweens, I move fast and hard, even with an apparent nonchalance. Good and easy and steady. But beneath that, on a stronger current, I must perform my calculus. Regardless of how long and drawn out it may be, it must be done. I think it’s because of this that I sometimes feel like I am not making decisions in life, or perhaps that I’m simply being swept along by the current, allowing it to carry me rather than my own volition. This sentiment frustrates me greatly at times. But then, upon deeper analysis of the larger arc, the slow calculus becomes apparent. I am creeping up and observing and assessing - moving at my own pace. Sometimes this means I am slow to respond to external stimuli… to react to developments on the path. But then it also means that my longer path is intentional. It is not made by indecision or external current, really. It is the result of my own internal calculus, at my own pace. I may waver, but I do not cease to listen to my own internal rhythm. <img width="2550" height="2550" width_o="2550" height_o="2550" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/236a409459662245b5e3c5e9c6d03c7e84395dc3119bd77f124e35d96c47d039/AF-shirt-w-me.jpg" data-mid="225376647" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/236a409459662245b5e3c5e9c6d03c7e84395dc3119bd77f124e35d96c47d039/AF-shirt-w-me.jpg" /><img width="3600" height="3600" width_o="3600" height_o="3600" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9ffa7cf7dc0b1ec6dec99f4f87efbf93717eae7e3862002fc6a814297ef6a122/girl-etc-2-copy.jpg" data-mid="225376646" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9ffa7cf7dc0b1ec6dec99f4f87efbf93717eae7e3862002fc6a814297ef6a122/girl-etc-2-copy.jpg" /><img width="2550" height="2550" width_o="2550" height_o="2550" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/24f7948cba849bda85d755552b4c5e444324bc6e0327d1f4416711decc39ccf6/purple-sunset.jpg" data-mid="225376648" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/24f7948cba849bda85d755552b4c5e444324bc6e0327d1f4416711decc39ccf6/purple-sunset.jpg" /> <img width="1763" height="1316" width_o="1763" height_o="1316" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d3aaac3a5a193c097a17951800fd85208f7381602af3f23308edd311f5a18f2c/swig-sticker-copy.jpg" data-mid="225376658" border="0" data-scale="87" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d3aaac3a5a193c097a17951800fd85208f7381602af3f23308edd311f5a18f2c/swig-sticker-copy.jpg" /> There is a brand called Jolly Doom. I started it, and I have to remind myself at times that it is indeed my outward endeavor, and this website is indeed my INTERIOR AND CLOSE ASSOCIATES endeavor. When I say this out loud I am speaking quietly in a room by myself in a place that I haven’t really earned the right to be by myself- i.e. here and now, in the guest bedroom in my parents’ rented condo in Key West, at the relocated desk by the window by the permanently closed blinds facing out toward the condominium walkway and tonight the heavy moving clouds, constant but seemingly sporadic to all the people here that have learned to not expect clouds and to expect sun and moon. I do not know what the moon is doing - I leave that to my sister, though it seems to haunt me. No, I know that we have some kind of rare alignment of planets that is being talked about on the streets, but I know more acutely that we live on the same Earth under the same Sky and mysticism is far and gone away. Earlier tonight I watched a woman leave her bar chair - I thought she had had a bad conversation and was gradually making her way to the door. She pushed off of me two to three times as if I was a column supporting the wall, which is not unheard of, and then she stumbled outside and fell into the nearest single chair. Well, alright. Several people joked with the bartender that she had never settled up for her drink. I chortled along, and then…&nbsp; I went back inside to the restroom in the back of the bar and I hear a loud crash and general understated tones and exclamations of dismay. I knew what it must mean. The woman had fallen out of chair onto the floor of the bar. I emerged from the bathroom and looked out in the direction that I had come from - THOU SHALL NOT PASS. One individual made eye contact with me with a look of combined pity and bewilderment, and so I headed for the side door and came back to the table out front via the outdoor passageway. Before I had ordered the additional hurricanes, which are made with a very integral shot of 151, I had ushered a nice Indian couple past me to the open bar stools in front of me. The barstools were open because two women had recently fled them - one to another barstool farther down and away from the woman rambling next to her, and the other woman rambling and then suddenly silent and withdrawn and dreadful, head bobbing up and down and then down only and body leading herself on autopilot to pass out in the chair on the porch just outside the door. Here she slept for a good while, benevolently ignored, until she stumbled back inside into a barstool with multiple woman trailing her with her belongings shortly after. It was from there that she fell and struck her head on some kind of metal pole, proceeding to bleed across the floor profusely. “Well,” I thought, “there’s worse things for business.” And indeed there were. A characteristically understated Key West cop arrived first, followed by an ambulance and a fire truck. The nice Indian couple stood outside the door with their drinks and I asked them, myself only having seen the various limbs of the limp body, “Did she hit her head?” “Yes!” the woman replied enthusiastically. “There is a lot of blood!” I looked toward my parents knowingly and replied something along the lines of, “Well, there’s often a lot of blood with a head wound, but it’s often surficial.” “Sure,” she replied, “but we had to get out of there for now.” “Sure,” I said, and I watched the cop laugh with a passerby on the street. The medics brought the woman out with her arms strapped across her body as if in prayer and her chin strapped down in that way that is only done for those with potential neck injuries. And yet when they blink their eyes and look around it seems very much like they likely don’t have a neck injury and they probably just fell over in a very bad way in a very public setting… “There she goes,” the nice Indian woman said. “I’m glad they got the backboard in there,” my mom said, referring to the woman’s spinal immobilization. I watched the woman peering around the scene with vacant ghostly eyes and I shuddered. Had I not earned this right before - treatment as an invalid solely through choices of my own? My dad looked on with a strange whimsical look in his eye and said something along the lines of, “Well, it seems like she’ll be alright at least.” Yes, indeed. After that, before the police car and the ambulance and the fire truck left, small waves of individuals poured into the bar. “Well, they must make them good here, he he ha!” one of the older wider bearded gentlemen said as he headed inside toward the bar with the now very nervous bartender. My parents laughed, and so did I, because after all - he wasn’t wrong, was he? <img width="2400" height="3000" width_o="2400" height_o="3000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/31d6b3c0a48b2e849501ea88b2a26584545e2ebff6bf12c5a635ee4a7127c7bf/fear-n-loathe-tropic-copy-2.jpg" data-mid="225752659" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/31d6b3c0a48b2e849501ea88b2a26584545e2ebff6bf12c5a635ee4a7127c7bf/fear-n-loathe-tropic-copy-2.jpg" /> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “You’re still here?” he asked, with that falsely amused disagreeable expression on his face. I did not know his name, and really I did not know anything about him, other than he was ornery and unamusing and really, quite obnoxious. I paused to look at his wide stupid face with its false grin and then I said, “Yeah, well, you’re still here, aren’t you?” He laughed, not a real laugh, but that small kind of thing that serves to fill a space that would otherwise be filled with some authentic form of surprise. I watched this with contempt, and then watched his beady little eyes flit away, and I turned back to the bartender. “Another round, please.” I stared up at the TV behind the bar, and the wall and the bottles behind the bar, and really at nothing in particular, allowing myself the luxury of becoming lost in thought. That was when this unamusing lone man at the bar had to do it. He had been flirting very terribly with the bartender, and very unsuccessfully, and he thought that I had probably been amused by this at his expense, and now, although he hadn’t connected those dots and likely never would, he was angry with me because of it. “Say, you’re not from here, are you?” I looked at him with naked contempt. “No.” “Where you from?” “Virginia.” “Cold up there, huh?” “That’s right.” “I’m from Alabama.” “Alright.” “Been here for sixteen years though.” “Alright.” “You know what brought me down here?” I did not, and I refused to ever know. “You survive a plane crash?” I was ornery too now, but also whimsical. “What’s that?” “A plane crash. Were you stranded here after a plane crash?” He looked at me quizzically, a mixture of simple irritation and legitimate confusion, and then said, “No. No, well, what’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing,” I said, matter of factly, “You just seem like the kind of guy who would survive a plane crash when everyone else burned alive in the wreckage.” He began to turn red and his face began to contort. “Hey! I’ll have you know buddy, I have a pilot’s license, alright? And as a matter of fact - ” “Not anymore,” I cut him off. “I work for the FAA, and I can tell you right now, your license is revoked.” His face turned redder and contorted further. “Now, what’s the meaning of this!?” “Oh I’m sorry,” I responded, taking a sip of my drink that the bartender had just passed me, she looking immediately away afterwards. “You should have already gotten the notice in the mail. You didn’t receive it already?” “Hey, you shut the fuck up now! You don’t be messing with me!” “I wouldn’t dream of it, a serious man like you. And serious business like this. In fact, if I remember right, the FAA thinks you might have helped train the 9/11 hijackers - ring any bells?” He couldn’t have been more than a few years older than me, which would likely put him somewhere around the age of eleven in 2001. I took a heavy pull of my drink and felt the whisky burn my throat and make me shudder slightly. His head turned into a bruised and battered tomato. “Slander!” he yelled to the nearly empty bar. “That’s slander! It’s not funny to slander a man like that!” “As a matter of fact,” I said, the whisky now riding around happily in my belly, “I think the FAA administrator may have actually told me you worked with the big man himself.” “What the hell you talking about!? Who’s that?” “Osama Bin Laden.” His distorted tomato head exploded. The few other bar patrons looked over in shocked horror, having not witnessed the build up that made this conclusion quite logical, and the bartender looked on with an odd mixture of general relief at the forefront, but with exasperation at the big mess just behind. I grabbed a stray napkin off the bar and wiped the worst of the rotten red exploded tomato off my face, then pulled out my phone, opened YouTube, and began to play the Veggie Tales theme song. The opening tuba sound came on, and I hopped up on the bar, kicking off my shoes to reveal a hidden pair of tap shoes, clacking my feet along with the beat and singing the opening lyrics: “If you like to talk to TOMATOES (this word I yelled), if a squash can make you smile. If you like to waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce aisle…” A pause, and then the few other bar patrons, no longer shocked or horrified, and the bartender, now only relieved, leapt onto the bar beside me, kicked off their shoes, revealing hidden pairs of tap shoes, and clacking along they screamed with me: “HAVE WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU!!!”______________________________________________________________________________________________________<img width="2300" height="2806" width_o="2300" height_o="2806" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/95496631c909f68e33ca70c9df2482eebbc639f608e55d2c2906cf6f73ab84c3/off-me-back.jpg" data-mid="226571147" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/95496631c909f68e33ca70c9df2482eebbc639f608e55d2c2906cf6f73ab84c3/off-me-back.jpg" /> <img width="3276" height="4086" width_o="3276" height_o="4086" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d9b2550c71edc209a16b5ad013b516ddd4a1ce619a61e31434cdafac7214eac3/poster.jpg" data-mid="226571153" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d9b2550c71edc209a16b5ad013b516ddd4a1ce619a61e31434cdafac7214eac3/poster.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="1680" width_o="1170" height_o="1680" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/77fbbf8c091a9d4ea19163303f810a56ddde5b6cb13ad8593c30966504947daa/party-page-copy.jpg" data-mid="226571161" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/77fbbf8c091a9d4ea19163303f810a56ddde5b6cb13ad8593c30966504947daa/party-page-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2100" height="2100" width_o="2100" height_o="2100" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cbc2cf9efb44f2f68f742ab9f4062466158479534204ac7f6ff124acb2e2cda0/fuck-ego_screenprint-copy.jpg" data-mid="226571167" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/cbc2cf9efb44f2f68f742ab9f4062466158479534204ac7f6ff124acb2e2cda0/fuck-ego_screenprint-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2100" height="2100" width_o="2100" height_o="2100" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/dc13bd170be9550d4ee90faa2544b33015acc03e42726ce593d5c8582e9a3727/fuck-ego_fade.jpg" data-mid="226571168" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/dc13bd170be9550d4ee90faa2544b33015acc03e42726ce593d5c8582e9a3727/fuck-ego_fade.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="1974" width_o="1170" height_o="1974" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4ecd544a5625b0988ea970e43290da7bd9eee5831c30a847c7df8fe744c7e689/me-in-walmart-screenprint-shirt.jpg" data-mid="226970028" border="0" data-scale="45" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4ecd544a5625b0988ea970e43290da7bd9eee5831c30a847c7df8fe744c7e689/me-in-walmart-screenprint-shirt.jpg" /><img width="1170" height="1841" width_o="1170" height_o="1841" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b90b1b8f0b6a807d20f29d7c16776ad7b5b49264d5a26e27a43bd45c59dde64b/misc-drawing-infin.jpg" data-mid="226970407" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b90b1b8f0b6a807d20f29d7c16776ad7b5b49264d5a26e27a43bd45c59dde64b/misc-drawing-infin.jpg" /> I was feeling quite literary. It was good to be writing with some frequency, whether or not I was writing anything worthwhile. It made it so I did not fear it anymore. Instead, it was more like a normal chore, something that I may not want to do but that I would be able to make myself do because I knew it had to be done and because I had gotten used to making myself do it. In that, it was like all things, and that is better than being afraid of it. <img width="2048" height="1536" width_o="2048" height_o="1536" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4ae40cd26fc1ee48e0c82acb4a058d3fa01070305155a2d8ca63f1a2ea7aca57/me-n-jo.jpg" data-mid="226970499" border="0" data-scale="69" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4ae40cd26fc1ee48e0c82acb4a058d3fa01070305155a2d8ca63f1a2ea7aca57/me-n-jo.jpg" /> <img width="2907" height="3876" width_o="2907" height_o="3876" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9669cb31e15326512f92f560fb2782930e64164f1d912058d1c6a811ee83b914/sunrise-palm.jpg" data-mid="226970544" border="0" data-scale="62" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9669cb31e15326512f92f560fb2782930e64164f1d912058d1c6a811ee83b914/sunrise-palm.jpg" /> Here I am - I’m living this charmed life, by all available accounts and exterior metrics, and yet I can’t even fully enjoy it because I’m so wrapped up in my foolish fatalism. The menace of my own mortality hangs as a specter over my head. It is an ominous shadow, and it is a cartoonish anvil perched precariously on the edge of a cliff up above as I bound down the straight and narrow desert road. Ignorance is in fact bliss but there is no such veil for this kind of malice. One of the most foolish parts of my foolish fatalism was my tendency to allow myself to feel preemptive sorrow. Things that had not happened and that perhaps would not happen or at the very least would only happen much later and so nearly abstractly would materialize in my mind and sink down over me like a dense pre-dawn fog. Some part of my mind, often not the forefront but also not an insignificant part, would then be taken with this fog, despite the fact that the world of reality before me and around me would not have fog and may in fact actually be clear and have sun. I knew there was no nonsensical reconciliation of the two, but then apparently, there didn’t need to be, as I was perfectly capable of straddling the two realms, lurking along the invisible precipice like some kind of strangely fluid ghoul. ~~~ ︎︎︎~~~LONG TURMOIL BREAK, FOCI SHIFT, SEASONS CHANGE~~~ ︎︎︎~~~ Alright, let’s kick it off with a photo gallery of assorted moments n memories of fairly recent lore. These were perhaps not selected quite RANDOMLY, surely, but certainly on little more than a WHIM. HOW FUKN WHIMSICAL But then perhaps a random sampling is the best sampling? ha, ha, ha ! <img width="2766" height="3860" width_o="2766" height_o="3860" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/00c224aa0d3e6fb8d7269d534e7c1beb095bc0bd461f397041e7168b276f0370/IMG_9340.JPG" data-mid="237722730" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/00c224aa0d3e6fb8d7269d534e7c1beb095bc0bd461f397041e7168b276f0370/IMG_9340.JPG" /> <img width="3022" height="3700" width_o="3022" height_o="3700" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b9be17b35141f88dcd5bcb5c257ef1bba6c301d8d04d004b6fc89073cb405d37/IMG_9332.JPG" data-mid="237722734" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b9be17b35141f88dcd5bcb5c257ef1bba6c301d8d04d004b6fc89073cb405d37/IMG_9332.JPG" /> <img width="2923" height="3449" width_o="2923" height_o="3449" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8118656b96e196163c93f0ae3ee3a9db10739e2b93216098dbc01d6c0227d0ee/IMG_9334.JPG" data-mid="237722737" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8118656b96e196163c93f0ae3ee3a9db10739e2b93216098dbc01d6c0227d0ee/IMG_9334.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="3689" width_o="3024" height_o="3689" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/26c7f38d33ae126bc82b4476f40190820982e1b0872478b167ab20d2846cb777/IMG_9335.JPG" data-mid="237722740" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/26c7f38d33ae126bc82b4476f40190820982e1b0872478b167ab20d2846cb777/IMG_9335.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3b59bafbbbd1d83567b3a103c41ae0b99e1145eeaed43b0ea4346661fb2ef3d9/IMG_9327.JPG" data-mid="237722744" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3b59bafbbbd1d83567b3a103c41ae0b99e1145eeaed43b0ea4346661fb2ef3d9/IMG_9327.JPG" /> <img width="1170" height="1053" width_o="1170" height_o="1053" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7773f3977ff6c875688757df1c4533551446e0a183fadb56029bec312e5d4765/IMG_7678.JPG" data-mid="237722745" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7773f3977ff6c875688757df1c4533551446e0a183fadb56029bec312e5d4765/IMG_7678.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4ae6bcbfb3c2af0d6780756f09e8844a1a99aac53fa0167de168aa79367dffd1/IMG_7318.JPG" data-mid="237722746" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4ae6bcbfb3c2af0d6780756f09e8844a1a99aac53fa0167de168aa79367dffd1/IMG_7318.JPG" /> <img width="1170" height="1626" width_o="1170" height_o="1626" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/01084c05780afaaf4a1857591485f3f0c6c9255f0f9fa8fa526de93656a1cb3e/IMG_7140.JPG" data-mid="237722749" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/01084c05780afaaf4a1857591485f3f0c6c9255f0f9fa8fa526de93656a1cb3e/IMG_7140.JPG" /> <img width="1170" 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src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/78d5b957d5d237a3fa05ad0b36e79ef292d1c70e6f6575240475eb1c215c6c69/IMG_9333.JPG" /> <img width="1170" height="1082" width_o="1170" height_o="1082" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1cb9fbab43712a37ddecf89064b2e277d5de09d6e620652ba63cae5c68c122de/emerald.png" data-mid="237722762" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1cb9fbab43712a37ddecf89064b2e277d5de09d6e620652ba63cae5c68c122de/emerald.png" /> <img width="1170" height="2080" width_o="1170" height_o="2080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0aed1b0785f0bed95f4f9ad45b338b0da8e345aa3475888ffc9a97e59d24ff9c/tribulation.JPG" data-mid="237722765" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0aed1b0785f0bed95f4f9ad45b338b0da8e345aa3475888ffc9a97e59d24ff9c/tribulation.JPG" /> <img width="1170" height="2168" width_o="1170" height_o="2168" 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data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5b4666abaa92a858acc440e63c973e686918b173573e77d472b3f75342e9fa15/IMG_9344.JPG" data-mid="237722793" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5b4666abaa92a858acc440e63c973e686918b173573e77d472b3f75342e9fa15/IMG_9344.JPG" /> <img width="1170" height="2080" width_o="1170" height_o="2080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a8c1df5039b87fa0af95926f8295356bdfa8677239129fd9c2ccdb2a38a0fb5b/IMG_9343.JPG" data-mid="237722796" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a8c1df5039b87fa0af95926f8295356bdfa8677239129fd9c2ccdb2a38a0fb5b/IMG_9343.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9e8bd0159cd5bd21475bbb9950742bc4a773345ec63ef57c0467c570fabd6681/IMG_9329.JPG" data-mid="237722799" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9e8bd0159cd5bd21475bbb9950742bc4a773345ec63ef57c0467c570fabd6681/IMG_9329.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f13e1610428bf4bcd3b75e3e7489bdc8079a02dbcabd681c407806c16347556a/IMG_9330.JPG" data-mid="237722802" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f13e1610428bf4bcd3b75e3e7489bdc8079a02dbcabd681c407806c16347556a/IMG_9330.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/02d8e5e9279cd0bd6f440450fb698bf85e7f2cee7805e64c740e60ba915204be/IMG_9336.JPG" data-mid="237722805" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/02d8e5e9279cd0bd6f440450fb698bf85e7f2cee7805e64c740e60ba915204be/IMG_9336.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/89c67d805e0bc6c24866f38faa624e713a81aaf47dcc795b3db532da79843892/IMG_9342.JPG" data-mid="237722808" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/89c67d805e0bc6c24866f38faa624e713a81aaf47dcc795b3db532da79843892/IMG_9342.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/00d3d580439ea185c167a0e1b77a9b4724fcea39d4ffdc551e7f0a2bd2cf3d94/IMG_9328.JPG" data-mid="237722812" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/00d3d580439ea185c167a0e1b77a9b4724fcea39d4ffdc551e7f0a2bd2cf3d94/IMG_9328.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3f2064ea0373aae0571070300f4a75182bcd2b190af0f95f398f47f7220cbee7/me-in-phb.jpg" data-mid="237722815" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3f2064ea0373aae0571070300f4a75182bcd2b190af0f95f398f47f7220cbee7/me-in-phb.jpg" /> <img width="2048" height="1949" width_o="2048" height_o="1949" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c70b8f9ff85f126dd90003bd90aa61abd8ebb406464f7646b8a4e2547d2d8caa/penguin.jpg" data-mid="237722818" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c70b8f9ff85f126dd90003bd90aa61abd8ebb406464f7646b8a4e2547d2d8caa/penguin.jpg" /> ^^^pictured above, in no order and not including all: TACO BELL FEAST after a day at the river, second time happening, the first having been for Jo’s 34th birthday, wow!NO KINGS protest, big protest energy screengrabbed from an RVA reddit postBIG TREE LIMB takes its revenge on a house, viewed from a back alley on a pleasant morning after one of this (2025) summer’s many wonderful violent stormsJonah n meself outside the *altria* theater after having seen the great and controversial Louis CK... look, i get it, but the man is a true master of the craft, and this show featured jokes about putting a parent in an old folks home, something i am very familiar with via proxyTEXT JOKES ABOUT THE BOMBING OF IRAN HA HA hahsdfkalsdfjdslfkjas... surely it was well-developed strategy that avoided a larger war and not posturing and happenstance!don’t worry, that’s sour cream for the quesadilla but VANILLA ICING for the rice krispies treat. and don’t worry, that’s a RARE occurrence.rex n robbie in pergatory. both would rise, but with varying degrees of consciousness. robbie and i would go on to tattooing in the morning light, robbie receiving his first ever, a version of THE SCIMITAR.david gray and BIG FANCY play the BIG browns island! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, March 17th, 2025 Well, here we are. I’m hungover, but I’ve taken ︎︎︎. I’m sad, but I’m ignoring it. If yesterday afternoon into the night was engaging active avoidance measures, this is the aftermath, the natural evolution, the inevitable subsequent phase - involuntary avoidance. Inability to assess and focus. Distant swirling feelings of panic if you allow yourself to think about that inability - why have I done this? Why can’t I just allow myself to process in a natural and healthy way? Wouldn’t that be better - more directly, more presently, isn’t that what I need? Probably so. But here we are. I’ve talked my shit with my close confidants, my counselors, and I’ve even done what is for me a little extended outreach, drunken merriment meets passing epiphany in the night, phone calls and voicemails to what is actually still a small amount of close confidants, but to me now feels like over-enthusiastic over-telegraphing to the world at large. But there’s no social media post. There’s no announcement to the wider populace. When I feel I have already over-engaged by reaching out to close friends, at least I can take solace in that. I pride myself on mental and emotional fortitude but it turns out I still need to cry out in the night. It’s wonderful to be alone when being alone is a treat, but when it’s the standard state? Have I not lived that for years? Am I so afraid of returning to it now? Am I fraudulent in my sentiments? These are pressing questions, but I digress… what was I trying to say about the here and now? I suppose it’s that I should be sitting with all of this more closely; I should be more actively assessing all of this rather than just engaging these avoidance measures and letting the time pass by. I suppose I should be trying to have the clearest headspace possible and instead I have actively tried, and succeeded, to muddy the internal waters as much as possible - stir it up, drown it out, make it murky enough that there’s no risk of seeing the bottom… how can you bottom out if you don’t even know where the bottom is? Great. Once again, darker and starker than I intended. Perhaps the core of this episode of fervent stirring is exactly what my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend (?), has identified as my primary issue - I don’t know what I want. She told me that I need to figure out what makes me happy, and I think she is right, but I also think and perhaps fear that the answer to that question is more convoluted than she expects. I have a rather deep-seated belief that it is hard to hold onto happiness, and that it may be necessary to rely on other things in life, things such as purpose and meaning. But perhaps that is just a haughty way of saying the same thing - you need to figure out what you want. Well, what do you want? As it turns out, it’s hard to say in any certain terms. There are myriad generalizations that come to mind, but when you get to the nitty gritty, the day to day, the ON THE GROUND experience - it’s rather hard to say. Perhaps it’s paralysis by abundance of choice. Perhaps it’s immaturity. Perhaps it’s a simple character fault. Perhaps it’s just the nature of being this type of person in the world - overly-analytical, fatalistic and hesitant, aloof until the wrong moment when the ship has passed. “OH, I’VE GOT IT NOW!” he shouts to an empty room, only then turning to see that the crowd has gone and he is, in fact, alone. <img width="2400" height="3000" width_o="2400" height_o="3000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/915c34edf45a8aab75eeb8da4a018ca117b4871b6aef75220a77f1d9a6762a16/keep-fight-dread-post-copy.jpg" data-mid="237725514" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/915c34edf45a8aab75eeb8da4a018ca117b4871b6aef75220a77f1d9a6762a16/keep-fight-dread-post-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2400" height="3000" width_o="2400" height_o="3000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/64ba3dc8176d0c13fa4e7291809e1f8ec86d37466f039c76f63d2c9b4f2c5f7b/8.jpg" data-mid="237725600" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/64ba3dc8176d0c13fa4e7291809e1f8ec86d37466f039c76f63d2c9b4f2c5f7b/8.jpg" /> Sunday, March 30th, 2025 I went to see my girlfriend for other reasons, and it was good until the end, and then we talked and we cried and we did not reach an agreement. I then went to my parents’, and we had a fun evening where I did not think about it all, and the next day I lingered into a relaxing evening. On Sunday I left, stopping to look out at the bay, letting myself long for that horizon, and then I returned home. So, for the first time in some days, I was alone - alone with the current state of my relationship, with the condition of not being able to reach out to that person that I always reach out to, and with the great sadness of that and yet the inevitability of a coming crossroads in life. But it was Sunday evening, and it was warm, and I did not want to think about that just then. I knew it would be fruitless. Well, I sat on the back porch and I read, and I felt ok in the warmth and the sun, and so I decided to have a canned THC beverage that had been lingering in the back of my fridge. It was nice, and then it wasn’t. I could feel myself retreating into my head, my mind turning round on itself, the walls closing in, the pressure building and the beginnings of The Fear coming on. It would not do. So, although I knew I had been drinking too much as it were, I poured some of the nice rum into a glass of ice and mixed in a bit of water. I had to get out of my head, by any means necessary. It was a matter of mental health, and I knew that at that moment, it took precedence over any other health matters. I poured another glass and the sun went down and in that strange head space it occurred to me to light a candle, and so I sat outside at the table on the back porch and I read in the warmth by candlelight. I did not want to be inside with the closed in walls or even the distracting screens. I was alone, and the questions were large and urgent, and my head was fervently stirring, and so I knew it would not be good for me in there. No, I needed to stay outside in the open air with the sky and the noises of the city and the birds and the wind in the great American elm tree behind my apartment. I could at least be grateful that it was warm, and so it was pleasant - the atmosphere, that is, and so that at least was better for dealing with the beginnings of The Fear. You have a better chance of dealing with the thing then. So it got better, though of course it did not go away completely. But I could manage it then. Hope would flit in on the breeze, and then my mind would go off somewhere promising for a moment, and then it would go just a little ways too far and there would be a great heavy wave of sadness, and so I would pull myself back as best I could and look at what was directly in front of me, at the candlelight and the wind in the tree and then at my book, trying to read as if I were far away somewhere and as if I could shut down my mind. That, of course, was impossible, but sometimes you just have to go through the motions and allow them to do what they can on their own, let the validity of doing the thing speak for itself and not worry about the internal machinations and their indomitable will. This is better than not going through the motions, in letting yourself fester and letting the sadness and the fervent stirring pool around you like a thick oozing goo, and you will often even find that, if you can stick to it for a bit, you will even feel better. Tomorrow will, of course, be a new day, and the late evening setting sun and lonely twilight will come again and again, but those things are not now, and those things can be dealt with when they come. That, at least, is what I tell myself now as I sit here by the candlelight and write and try to keep it all from flying away on the warm breeze… one foot in front of the other, mate. It will all be ok one day, true, but it may not be good for a while. <img width="1549" height="2017" width_o="1549" height_o="2017" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ff0f107445fe330ecb294749bef10ff4922453383f0eede6b3627c3264d7ac30/want-to-live-mask-copy-2.jpg" data-mid="237725759" border="0" data-scale="72" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ff0f107445fe330ecb294749bef10ff4922453383f0eede6b3627c3264d7ac30/want-to-live-mask-copy-2.jpg" /><img width="1170" height="1462" width_o="1170" height_o="1462" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d2d5bbbb24f09a43eaad95400cc77e73ea21ffabfb75bc27774b6ecb19205b65/life-gray-sea.JPG" data-mid="237725775" border="0" data-scale="72" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d2d5bbbb24f09a43eaad95400cc77e73ea21ffabfb75bc27774b6ecb19205b65/life-gray-sea.JPG" /> <img width="2400" height="2062" width_o="2400" height_o="2062" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/bc369e6fa9e77b73c9d408f0a58b676a102c5498622663e9792c0f1b457eb015/grand-mask-copy2.jpg" data-mid="237725797" border="0" data-scale="59" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/bc369e6fa9e77b73c9d408f0a58b676a102c5498622663e9792c0f1b457eb015/grand-mask-copy2.jpg" /> <img width="2261" height="1704" width_o="2261" height_o="1704" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/263e605c9464c3dd97bbfc17d81c6db745c6461ef9e568b6ac4627f894d3d65b/3patch_askew.jpg" data-mid="237725846" border="0" data-scale="84" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/263e605c9464c3dd97bbfc17d81c6db745c6461ef9e568b6ac4627f894d3d65b/3patch_askew.jpg" /> 7/22/25, Tuesday Sadness has been flitting about for a while now, a leaf in a fickle breeze, and now that the air is still it seems to have settled down. It has settled down right on top of me. It has settled over me, a thin sheet spreading out further and further, somehow billowing out in the still air, almost translucent but not quite - it spreads until it covers me and my surroundings completely, and it obscures the sky above. Wasn’t the sky blue? Wasn’t the sky high and true? Wasn’t there the image of hope somewhere up there far away? How quickly you forget under this cover. My relationship has ended and I am alone. When you love a person and you share yourself with them it becomes a connection and an outlet that you rely on. That person is there, even when they aren’t physically there, even when it is just the thought of them being there - the comfort of knowing that there is someone at the other end of the line in this vast lonely world. So then when the relationship ends and they are not there - when you cannot reach out and have that connection and that comfort - it is heavy. It is a harsh thing, and it is jarring to be alone again. And when you sit in that and you feel the loss of that person, of that connection, it is intensely sad. There is the void and there is the loss, and both are hard things to deal with. For me, I have found that in the bad times I am at risk of becoming lost in my head. My mind takes me to beautiful places, depths that I yearn to explore, but in those depths there can be shadowy forms that move of their own accord. These shadows can lash out and cause pain, or worse, they can latch on and ride along, unnoticed for too long, insidiously leeching the life out of their victim the whole way, growing stronger as the individual becomes weaker, and if not stopped, they may weaken the individual to the point that they can drag him down into the abyss from which they came. Yes, I know this to be true because I have been dragged there before. I do not wish to return. And I fear being dragged into an abyss even darker and deeper than the one I have been to. So what to do? One foot in front of the other I suppose. Because anything more is simply too daunting. In this sadness and loneliness, trying to look ahead can be a terror. What will you do with your life? Where will you go; what will you become; what will become of you!? No. It can be too much even in the good times, and these are emphatically not the good times. So you must try not to zoom out. You must not let yourself fly away. You must try to make yourself stay grounded and put one foot in front of the other and focus solely on that - take the next step, and then take the next step, and go forward in that way. Do not try to think about what’s further down the path - do not even try to think two steps ahead right now. No, right now there is only the next step, and forcing yourself to take it even though all you want to do is lay down and waste away. Even now, after writing this nice piece, after giving such sage advice - I stop and I sit and I zoom out. What the hell am I doing? Are my dreams childish? Is the money going to last? Why am I spending so much money? Shouldn’t I be getting married and having children? What if I get left behind? I’m going to be in my mid-30’s before I know it! What if I never form another romantic connection? What if I squander it all and become a sad hollow shell of a man living alone in filth and squalor? What if everyone I love dies? What if I die? What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? No, seriously, what the fuck am I doing? Right. And that’s the way it goes. Fun! Just a little fun in the sun in this hot, hot, hot summer we’re having. Oh, the sorrow of it all compounds and jumps on my head. My head’s down on the ground, sinking, sinking, being contorted and even smashed but I can’t get out from under it. My limbs just flail around uselessly, spastically really, and my head looks like a smashed pumpkin now under this thing that just keeps jumping up and down, merciless, giddy. Bastard. And then just when it seems like it’s all over that last bit of consciousness zooms out of my smashed head and catches a bird’s eye view of this scene and sees it for what it really is - absurd. The whole thing’s absurd. Past the sorrow and the heaviness and the crushing immediacy of the pain, it is absurd. Truly. And so then that bit of consciousness zooms back down into my head and a smile spreads across my smashed face and then, even though the thing keeps jumping, I begin to laugh. Despite it all, I begin to laugh, because the whole thing is absurd and I know it now, this great secret, and as the laughter grows the thing becomes unnerved and it stops jumping and climbs off my head and even backs away. Then I’m able to stand up, holding my smashed head together with both hands, and laughing still I look at the thing and I say, “You’re a real bastard, you know? And you don’t even get it!” And I laugh and then the thing turns and flees because it knows it’s true. It doesn’t get it. Sorrow doesn’t know the absurdity of this life, and when you do, well, then you know the great secret. The bad things know they don’t know this secret, know they can’t know it, and so they fear it and flee from it. And then you can stand there, without them, and have yourself a good laugh about it all. <img width="1771" height="2200" width_o="1771" height_o="2200" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2afdd23727b42bb39409448d5f1e83d24680cc9d3528855146f39e2f972262f5/tree-shit-copy.png" data-mid="238716036" border="0" data-scale="56" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2afdd23727b42bb39409448d5f1e83d24680cc9d3528855146f39e2f972262f5/tree-shit-copy.png" /><img width="581" height="1256" width_o="581" height_o="1256" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c83052ee0be4689e853fd09924f7a3c5a673d67702cf771774651c673b977349/lightning-head-tentacle-cloud-squid-guy-copy.png" data-mid="238716033" border="0" data-scale="41" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/581/i/c83052ee0be4689e853fd09924f7a3c5a673d67702cf771774651c673b977349/lightning-head-tentacle-cloud-squid-guy-copy.png" /> https://verycoolstory.com/End-Times Thu, 19 Oct 2023 01:02:44 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/End-Times END TIMES !! This post is about the end of an era - working in the corporate world for approximately 7.5 years, and the whole lifestyle and state of being that has come with that... good and bad. The material here covers the final months of this chapter as I prepare to close it out just after the New Year. It’s about capturing the life happening during this time, as well as the thoughts and emotions that come with it - this time being the culmination of this way of living for three quarters of a decade. And for me, it’s specifically about trying to capture all of this before I pivot to something else - a sort of time capsule that I can dig back up as I go forward in Le Chapter Next to recall where I was, and what it was... trying to record the essence of the thing before it inevitably fades beneath the great weathering flow of time, receding to the imperfect and certainly less potent archive of memory... The fucking comparison game, eh? I’d like to say it’s not jealousy, though that’s probably down to semantics. But truly, I think of jealously as being tinged with a distaste for the party on the other end, and it’s not that. It’s more of sad and stupid, “Woe is me!” Woeeeee the fuck is me, and my life, and my decisions. Because that’s really the rub, right? Let’s toss out circumstances of birth and upbringing for a minute, as well as large strokes of luck. Beyond those things, all of this is a matter of personal decisions, right? And that’s what makes all of this a true bitch. Because the harder thing to admit is that I’m where I am because of decisions that I’ve made, or not made, which for now we’ll call a moot point because that’s a decision in and of itself. I’ve brought myself here and I’m keeping myself here. Everything else is just excuses, right? The comparison game fucks you up, but when you dive down to the core of your side of thing - well, that fucks you up more. THIS SHIT POST ONLY TOOK ME APPROX 6,000 YEARS TO FINISH; ENJOY !!! <img width="1433" height="929" width_o="1433" height_o="929" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cb14d4be6206630ab08c4cf07ab731ee8994d47de03f4674a3e11faeca5cbcd4/dear-diary-snap-copy.png" data-mid="194150731" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/cb14d4be6206630ab08c4cf07ab731ee8994d47de03f4674a3e11faeca5cbcd4/dear-diary-snap-copy.png" /> <img width="1749" height="2614" width_o="1749" height_o="2614" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b56bc94d811a4d9e96e8766b9fd291d7d460464d9aff298f4b85eb16e89803d1/sun-mask-guy-copy.png" data-mid="194150793" border="0" data-scale="26" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b56bc94d811a4d9e96e8766b9fd291d7d460464d9aff298f4b85eb16e89803d1/sun-mask-guy-copy.png" /> <img width="15327" height="3679" width_o="15327" height_o="3679" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a892e24391024757e32c8a71398a592b032e34874a7742b090d057079054a28e/DONUT-copy.jpg" data-mid="194158025" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a892e24391024757e32c8a71398a592b032e34874a7742b090d057079054a28e/DONUT-copy.jpg" /><img width="2467" height="3477" width_o="2467" height_o="3477" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7bfcf8129286cf25086b5ba632b5a89fc1dcbed2d12408974965d39a783ccdb4/ornery-copy.jpg" data-mid="194153242" border="0" data-scale="58" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7bfcf8129286cf25086b5ba632b5a89fc1dcbed2d12408974965d39a783ccdb4/ornery-copy.jpg" /> &nbsp; &nbsp; WELL after seeing so many PEOPLE becoming immediate graphic designers via the CANVA app, I had to take a turn meself! Below are three of the pristine final products. <img width="1080" height="1080" width_o="1080" height_o="1080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/abd3a15b252f31dceb15c56317a104e3e1e87f65569904af2dc2a1984cc69af4/85B79BB5-7329-4C93-92F3-93BC4E2F4F98.PNG" data-mid="194153398" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/abd3a15b252f31dceb15c56317a104e3e1e87f65569904af2dc2a1984cc69af4/85B79BB5-7329-4C93-92F3-93BC4E2F4F98.PNG" /> <img width="1429" height="2001" width_o="1429" height_o="2001" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f0a4bb4ab897b36ea864e16da48afff126e31828845b7ceb58f978c768e1acda/IMG_3479.JPG" data-mid="194153399" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f0a4bb4ab897b36ea864e16da48afff126e31828845b7ceb58f978c768e1acda/IMG_3479.JPG" /> <img width="1080" height="1920" width_o="1080" height_o="1920" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c8f4a8c955eabd4b75c4d331afca3fd90176f39484af0e6e171473622c522461/3F3B3173-E8F3-408A-9EF1-A4FD0F77691F.PNG" data-mid="194153397" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c8f4a8c955eabd4b75c4d331afca3fd90176f39484af0e6e171473622c522461/3F3B3173-E8F3-408A-9EF1-A4FD0F77691F.PNG" /> <img width="1276" height="739" width_o="1276" height_o="739" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fcafda94273d6fdadf5c473ecf928bf3dcd35a813ce79c5eb5c27cfd0003fc92/self-aware-snap-copy.png" data-mid="194217415" border="0" data-scale="87" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fcafda94273d6fdadf5c473ecf928bf3dcd35a813ce79c5eb5c27cfd0003fc92/self-aware-snap-copy.png" /> Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. We’ve all got problems, right? I don’t think I’ve really yet hit on what I’ve intended to here, if there is real intention in throwing myriad thoughts and emotions into a “post”... But it’s supposed to be capturing the final days of a prolonged state of being, so I can look back on them once a major transition is made. In that sense, it may BEHOOVE me to be a bit more direct rather than conceptual as I so often am when I turn inward... HOW ABOUT A TRADITIONAL BLOG POST THEN RIGHT MATE??????? OKlife, as it goes, non-conceptual and non-profound... LIFE HAPPENING PROFOUND PERSONAL NARRATIVE™ &nbsp; &nbsp; <img width="1440" height="1800" width_o="1440" height_o="1800" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5ca25a6d49462cbf0ad1ccd1b163966aae92cd79d934f9d57f8bf3832f77a37f/33A850A0-C825-42C9-9A52-1FF3A032A5BE.jpg" data-mid="199354589" border="0" data-scale="37" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5ca25a6d49462cbf0ad1ccd1b163966aae92cd79d934f9d57f8bf3832f77a37f/33A850A0-C825-42C9-9A52-1FF3A032A5BE.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="2080" width_o="1170" height_o="2080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ae39603709ce8a1cf143b05b6e88801a764f482ce0fcf9539686840e6a3b306b/2A1F115D-CE2E-4481-A421-494B93B12F66.jpg" data-mid="199356572" border="0" data-scale="29" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ae39603709ce8a1cf143b05b6e88801a764f482ce0fcf9539686840e6a3b306b/2A1F115D-CE2E-4481-A421-494B93B12F66.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f02cecccd773ae23fdd9e119d2cffc87202d99e4168f07fcbf2c9761b39b80ec/IMG_4406.png" data-mid="199356976" border="0" data-scale="27" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f02cecccd773ae23fdd9e119d2cffc87202d99e4168f07fcbf2c9761b39b80ec/IMG_4406.png" /> LOW LIGHT MISCELLANEOUS SHIT - a lifestyle! Yes I should rise in the pre-dawn and drive to the mountains to embark on a sunrise hike. No, I will not. You can find me peeling out of a highway truck stop at 10pm, gas station/vending machine danish guilty pleasure freshly sticky on my fingers, accelerating up to 100 in the red rental Supra, something fast and savage on the radio and likely yelling to myself, or to the sky, or the void... Does it sound good? Perphaps not! Hence the theme of this whole entry: CHAPTER END. <img width="2729" height="3695" width_o="2729" height_o="3695" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/abafdf62172fb15cb50875173a18fb043595da158842b679cd8baf4e87067e52/IMG_4717-copy.png" data-mid="199524826" border="0" data-scale="27" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/abafdf62172fb15cb50875173a18fb043595da158842b679cd8baf4e87067e52/IMG_4717-copy.png" /><img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/874edc1a9e9fa7f719321fd68318a5acd7cee070fe0c7899c5aafc4a1981939a/IMG_4760-copy.png" data-mid="199524899" border="0" data-scale="31" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/874edc1a9e9fa7f719321fd68318a5acd7cee070fe0c7899c5aafc4a1981939a/IMG_4760-copy.png" /><img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/401cfcbffa3761ae0888950bed45da3131a1e121542b713a589852f2c1082f07/IMG_4175-copy.png" data-mid="199524924" border="0" data-scale="26" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/401cfcbffa3761ae0888950bed45da3131a1e121542b713a589852f2c1082f07/IMG_4175-copy.png" /><img width="2975" height="3967" width_o="2975" height_o="3967" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/50b0cd54ac1a2237a759291c80903b30dec1ca140e2b55c4c696f61741e0b1a0/IMG_5521-copy-2.jpg" data-mid="199525033" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/50b0cd54ac1a2237a759291c80903b30dec1ca140e2b55c4c696f61741e0b1a0/IMG_5521-copy-2.jpg" />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/bc5e1c41881ada19e368a139a4f730423d3debf1045ec068bef9e04f487dd95c/IMG_5523-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526589" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/bc5e1c41881ada19e368a139a4f730423d3debf1045ec068bef9e04f487dd95c/IMG_5523-copy.jpg" />there is something symbolic in the above images that i will leave open to the interpretation of the viewer FIRST COLLECTION: LIFESTYLE <img width="2975" height="3966" width_o="2975" height_o="3966" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ad79eef5038206e4cbe73a18e56fea6da59e877c0e5771f45cfc8c5a610aa894/IMG_6954.JPG" data-mid="199525326" border="0" data-scale="33" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ad79eef5038206e4cbe73a18e56fea6da59e877c0e5771f45cfc8c5a610aa894/IMG_6954.JPG" /> Well, a sight to see, isn’t it? For no one but myself. Three decades of life. Of course, it’s not precisely that, what with the ages of some birth to twelve-ish being partially or maybe entirely subconscious, and then the ages of some twelve-ish to eighteen-ish being so heavily adolescent, and everything that comes with that. And then there is the wild fludity that comes from some eighteen-ish to twenty-two-ish, and even after that, there is a certain different interim plasticity that comes from the age of twenty-two-ish to twenty-five-ish. After that, it’s tempting to say that you begin to settle, but I don’t think it’s that so much as it is quite simply that, the rest of your life, which is really your whole life if you’re lucky enough to stay alive, begins. So it’s a beginning, and while it’s tempting to fall into the available cliches of aging, it is just that - some five years thus far, which we can of course further analyze and subdivide. But in this post and in this time I suppose it’s the one thing really - I’ve been doing “what I’m supposed to”, and now I’m calling it quits. Right. So the passage of quantifiable decades means less than life decisions and events, and more so perhaps, time means much, much less than life. Ah, indeed, how nice. So for the remainder of this entry it will be just that latter thing - some minute capturing of this vast series of movements that we call life. As it goes! pictured: girlfriend&nbsp; <img width="3506" height="3024" width_o="3506" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2594774ac1db52768dddedfb98f78192cb9e5c5307d06801f16338a03624e4ef/IMG_8284-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525458" border="0" data-scale="42" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2594774ac1db52768dddedfb98f78192cb9e5c5307d06801f16338a03624e4ef/IMG_8284-copy.jpg" /> pictured: friends <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5e60f7f4e060ef9a7d860dd4c567fe82ed262ca4fd8e15292f77c84ed25e480d/IMG_6978.JPG" data-mid="199525633" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5e60f7f4e060ef9a7d860dd4c567fe82ed262ca4fd8e15292f77c84ed25e480d/IMG_6978.JPG" /> pictured: self, cake <img width="1980" height="3219" width_o="1980" height_o="3219" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/6d8da4404b70e2ddc872bd5755341630e04e71043d6d2608d45023b9e5f3d9f9/IMG_6985.jpg" data-mid="199525459" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/6d8da4404b70e2ddc872bd5755341630e04e71043d6d2608d45023b9e5f3d9f9/IMG_6985.jpg" /> CHEERS <img width="2970" height="3960" width_o="2970" height_o="3960" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7d961abf0872d5490fab5882b322d190be7c7993fc8680c849fbbe9240bdd073/Facetune_04-11-2023-19-46-43-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526203" border="0" data-scale="41" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7d961abf0872d5490fab5882b322d190be7c7993fc8680c849fbbe9240bdd073/Facetune_04-11-2023-19-46-43-copy.jpg" /> Fun with friends never ends!! An evening here, an evening there, a couple drinks or more, a bit of this and that - all generally in attempt to add a bit of zest to life, or at least to drink it in amongst others and not be so goddamn pensive and aloof as I tend to be. Ha ha! <img width="3024" height="3704" width_o="3024" height_o="3704" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/39ee2ac5e00b59889e1520e90894f6129311e389629a1106e6add3d951044f53/helens-xmas-2.jpg" data-mid="218757282" border="0" data-scale="35" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/39ee2ac5e00b59889e1520e90894f6129311e389629a1106e6add3d951044f53/helens-xmas-2.jpg" /><img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c06e37a9ea5ed97ca77bc9633d0332cf59cb97dfaa48286c30af22cf55f4df13/IMG_6971.JPG" data-mid="199525632" border="0" data-scale="30" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c06e37a9ea5ed97ca77bc9633d0332cf59cb97dfaa48286c30af22cf55f4df13/IMG_6971.JPG" /><img width="2816" height="3700" width_o="2816" height_o="3700" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fbeb551d9308e932acd078f315bc33075517f02e094678ded6d696a4f62a5353/FUN-W-FRIENDS-ft-dg.jpg" data-mid="218757284" border="0" data-scale="34" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fbeb551d9308e932acd078f315bc33075517f02e094678ded6d696a4f62a5353/FUN-W-FRIENDS-ft-dg.jpg" /> OUT N ABOUT <img width="2951" height="3884" width_o="2951" height_o="3884" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9697e25d9738c6726360bf81ad747aaacd608db7728ca478afc87999e99349ce/helens-xmas-1.jpg" data-mid="218757283" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9697e25d9738c6726360bf81ad747aaacd608db7728ca478afc87999e99349ce/helens-xmas-1.jpg" />&nbsp;OUT N ABOUT in this section we are out n about <img width="2975" height="3874" width_o="2975" height_o="3874" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/56583ebd5a43b4b3cce12cc94ef661d1e76165530a1796aa66ff69b7f080dc72/IMG_5439-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526137" border="0" data-scale="34" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/56583ebd5a43b4b3cce12cc94ef661d1e76165530a1796aa66ff69b7f080dc72/IMG_5439-copy.jpg" /> &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<img width="3024" height="3847" width_o="3024" height_o="3847" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/62c7e1ac9341ede27d4db58ade7a12b11117c10a01414305ace6e8f319e9f84c/IMG_5436-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526136" border="0" data-scale="34" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/62c7e1ac9341ede27d4db58ade7a12b11117c10a01414305ace6e8f319e9f84c/IMG_5436-copy.jpg" /> The dinner party is quite a new phenomenon for me. Not a family dinner, not a work dinner, not some kind of strange planned event... just, you know, a dinner party. A gathering. But then again, the dinner date really isn’t old news for me either. Both involve LEAVING THE CAVE and NOT BEING ALONE. WOW !! &nbsp;YOU’RE MAKING REAL PROGRESS IN LIFE BUD !!!! So it’s photos from a Friendsgiving above, the first I’ve been a part of; below, first a hot pot/Korean BBQ spot wit my girl, and then my quite favorite local HAUNT, a fine bar and eatery, thee ole reliable as it were (BAMBOOZLED AGAIN), and then to offset all of this OUTSIDE WORLD ENERGY... pizza in me cave.&nbsp; <img width="2817" height="3756" width_o="2817" height_o="3756" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/787cf3a1331f4dd47a8885ac940a4c111c9d0f23c5169e61aec7a3b4f7709538/IMG_5658-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525717" border="0" data-scale="39" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/787cf3a1331f4dd47a8885ac940a4c111c9d0f23c5169e61aec7a3b4f7709538/IMG_5658-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3467" height="2734" width_o="3467" height_o="2734" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/962289ea32c76ff5e5e304a222f459b3b49814d3541b095dabcb25e3b1939f80/IMG_4417-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526192" border="0" data-scale="47" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/962289ea32c76ff5e5e304a222f459b3b49814d3541b095dabcb25e3b1939f80/IMG_4417-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e46be5883722eb9947b544ef145d798079a01ab7dcbad4b8cb901418ed6cf74f/IMG_4416-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526191" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e46be5883722eb9947b544ef145d798079a01ab7dcbad4b8cb901418ed6cf74f/IMG_4416-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3932" height="2949" width_o="3932" height_o="2949" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c1df43cb685a1ff8b303cdba3bfb782bd3c86e8378900446b27b73891c947ac8/IMG_4411-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526190" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c1df43cb685a1ff8b303cdba3bfb782bd3c86e8378900446b27b73891c947ac8/IMG_4411-copy.jpg" /> AND NOW BELOW WE HAVE SOMETHING NEW AND DIFFERENT:&nbsp; <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/101b5059e2d74086b7148aeef866af3815e863b50d1dcec2822d925497f166e8/IMG_5513-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525892" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/101b5059e2d74086b7148aeef866af3815e863b50d1dcec2822d925497f166e8/IMG_5513-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5ec94b321934f4a410c5ad6129afd939f9cffdd22df643a8ce9ea08d61497f10/IMG_5514-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525891" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5ec94b321934f4a410c5ad6129afd939f9cffdd22df643a8ce9ea08d61497f10/IMG_5514-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e36baf726e1e06579c2cf2e924c793119fa58551b087040481d4e08a10ade50d/IMG_5520-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525890" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e36baf726e1e06579c2cf2e924c793119fa58551b087040481d4e08a10ade50d/IMG_5520-copy.jpg" /> ZELDA, the legend of. My girlfriend‘s and my dog. She is very good and generally deserves a chicken nugget. <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/012bc1aeeb82d7d31ee45a234085a0b7d31c8ae8eeee1613fc099d49bbb9ecc5/IMG_5552-copy.jpg" data-mid="199525718" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/012bc1aeeb82d7d31ee45a234085a0b7d31c8ae8eeee1613fc099d49bbb9ecc5/IMG_5552-copy.jpg" /> ONE LAST NICE PHOTO !!! me and my girl in..... THY LOW LIGHTS&nbsp; <img width="2945" height="3810" width_o="2945" height_o="3810" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e12ac5e73a9a56a2f8497d3d90565214a72c658db35e1115c7fd9f519f5dd7c5/ME-IN-TAMMY-PINK-LIGHT.jpg" data-mid="218757281" border="0" data-scale="46" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e12ac5e73a9a56a2f8497d3d90565214a72c658db35e1115c7fd9f519f5dd7c5/ME-IN-TAMMY-PINK-LIGHT.jpg" /> SECOND COLLECTION: LOW LIGHT MISC. SHIT <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2c44ee25112c5d0c1127441b1be3d6073329576f29fb7c817afdf53c3ec7897d/THY-CAVE.jpg" data-mid="218756925" border="0" data-scale="77" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2c44ee25112c5d0c1127441b1be3d6073329576f29fb7c817afdf53c3ec7897d/THY-CAVE.jpg" /> NOW WE ARE NOT OUT N ABOUT. NO, NO. PICTURED ABOVE is my standard scenery. My beloved cave in which I dwell. The couch and the coffee table, relics from the past transported here to be part of this pinnacle human experience. The miscellaneous objects and the tools for success. Golden Mewtwo card, water bottle lid with dried tattoo ink, external hard drive full of FILES, markers and pens, bluetooth speaker, stray one hitter, paper towel roll, beverage(s), etc. etc. etc. And thy journal, as above so below... <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f2533a555813df84640c01fd8b794ac000d1676b2ca7cba28a54c25abd71ceab/71997122730__8B315F22-7425-43AE-8D73-2028CE60FD77-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526573" border="0" data-scale="46" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f2533a555813df84640c01fd8b794ac000d1676b2ca7cba28a54c25abd71ceab/71997122730__8B315F22-7425-43AE-8D73-2028CE60FD77-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3681" width_o="3024" height_o="3681" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c990ae2ccf5da5a7d9b5ab67daba06a10d60281941633f95ec8fdf0ef2760c92/IMG_4813-copy.png" data-mid="199526157" border="0" data-scale="46" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c990ae2ccf5da5a7d9b5ab67daba06a10d60281941633f95ec8fdf0ef2760c92/IMG_4813-copy.png" /> The journaling will never change, but maybe the chaos will! At least sometimes... in small amounts... perhaps? How does anyone deal with different versions of themselves, really? One of the things that I’ll miss most about working in this horrific corporate slog is the ability to buy frivolous bullshit without any serious financial concern. I mean, look - I don’t own a house. I drive an old car. I travel far less than I would like to. So what do I do, besides order burritos to my front door (see Sixth Collection)? Well, every now and then, I get on the internet and I order some bullshit. A few shirts, a Pokemon figurine, some fashionable shoes, some... other shoes... <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cf0efac2ad1acdf890160d5c72d522b36c42f722307ee6346db30bc316ab0b0e/IMG_5614-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526590" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/cf0efac2ad1acdf890160d5c72d522b36c42f722307ee6346db30bc316ab0b0e/IMG_5614-copy.jpg" />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<img width="3024" height="3602" width_o="3024" height_o="3602" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/99a56687c2370e7fed75c659ec19339a24d053b6c7cbe75ebffdb0e208bd353d/IMG_5640-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526593" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/99a56687c2370e7fed75c659ec19339a24d053b6c7cbe75ebffdb0e208bd353d/IMG_5640-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2705" height="3845" width_o="2705" height_o="3845" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f42b4f91e0d85a884d4876211c184061b920ea7883ebd160bd0a053a873630f5/IMG_4404-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526583" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f42b4f91e0d85a884d4876211c184061b920ea7883ebd160bd0a053a873630f5/IMG_4404-copy.jpg" />&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; <img width="3024" height="3641" width_o="3024" height_o="3641" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2b4a9548cfb3b46ab5a1d578e46ceeee3152553d01a1117e4f0872449b9a1904/IMG_4396-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526582" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2b4a9548cfb3b46ab5a1d578e46ceeee3152553d01a1117e4f0872449b9a1904/IMG_4396-copy.jpg" /> Some things never change, and that includes my love for the soundtrack from Pokemon Gold &amp; Silver blaring at high volume from a bluetooth speaker at unknown times of the night as I sit and hammer away at what’s in front of me like some kind of cartoonish vampire on an organ in a dark, dark room... life is a screaming circle.Ok, cool. Idk I just still like Pokemon and shit lol <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/64450f239a5b68ca79bd330cc620aee3808736973f753505df252449aa378a15/IMG_5696-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526594" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/64450f239a5b68ca79bd330cc620aee3808736973f753505df252449aa378a15/IMG_5696-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/527df123c05c6517b030f4ae08bea5790b29f992dff94208d17c93a93ffc63b0/IMG_4928-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526585" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/527df123c05c6517b030f4ae08bea5790b29f992dff94208d17c93a93ffc63b0/IMG_4928-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2962" height="3949" width_o="2962" height_o="3949" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/55e20cea64a8cacb3ba3d24b07bcd64d43a54410b7832222751338f6bce5c9ca/IMG_5482-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526588" border="0" data-scale="38" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/55e20cea64a8cacb3ba3d24b07bcd64d43a54410b7832222751338f6bce5c9ca/IMG_5482-copy.jpg" /> Listen, it’s good to wander around your apartment like a Sim left on autopilot, having a snack, having a drink, tidying a thing, making a move, donning a robe, playing some music in between the television programs, nearly going mad but emphatically not, laughing in the mirror, banishing all the fear, staying up too late, enjoying the ambiance and general scenery... VIBE VIBE VIBE; SET THE SCENE <img width="3024" height="3863" width_o="3024" height_o="3863" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/165bc67b3c40682224c4c522e01cdeae9c6c435a54fbd77ecf64c9849091be25/IMG_4808-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526584" border="0" data-scale="40" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/165bc67b3c40682224c4c522e01cdeae9c6c435a54fbd77ecf64c9849091be25/IMG_4808-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3808" width_o="3024" height_o="3808" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a6d93295ce11da70cef243e25fd1e6c4bf812cd4bddd22a486f8197a30165901/IMG_5431-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526586" border="0" data-scale="40" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a6d93295ce11da70cef243e25fd1e6c4bf812cd4bddd22a486f8197a30165901/IMG_5431-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3461" width_o="3024" height_o="3461" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b1604e6529184f73f2446d61bfccf0ab971ef999a7b8d39af6808909ec2afdad/IMG_3906-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526579" border="0" data-scale="40" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b1604e6529184f73f2446d61bfccf0ab971ef999a7b8d39af6808909ec2afdad/IMG_3906-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3609" width_o="3024" height_o="3609" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d07622583e9bae01cde91c2ee7430acca53cd944282e2cf64e247a7cda5d1acf/IMG_5629-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526592" border="0" data-scale="45" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d07622583e9bae01cde91c2ee7430acca53cd944282e2cf64e247a7cda5d1acf/IMG_5629-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c9e56614c669d1a2ed562c4a023451707f781cb6ef0f6106c79870c5887d74cc/IMG_5627-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526591" border="0" data-scale="45" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c9e56614c669d1a2ed562c4a023451707f781cb6ef0f6106c79870c5887d74cc/IMG_5627-copy.jpg" /> What the fuck can I say about the below images? Saturday Mornings as we always knew them are not dead. They don’t have to be dead. You don’t need to be able to afford a lot to be able to afford luxury. Excellence can be around any corner - you just have to be ready to respond. For example, I noticed Cracker Barrel did not offer the below-pictured chicken dinner until after a certain hour of the day. And I knew, I knew from the bottom of my soul, that I wanted both the chicken dinner AND the stuffed pancakes. So what did I do? I forced myself to wait to order until the appropriate hour when both were available. It took strength, and it took discipline, which I honed in the meantime by achieving S-Class on multiple missions in the re-release of Advanced Wars for the Nintendo Switch. Yes, life is often hard in the modern world we have created, but it’s simply the price we pay for greatness... <img width="3780" height="2978" width_o="3780" height_o="2978" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/08cff83f88bf198e3ebd45fdd53f7990558d79c8369403285b414d70a7ccccf4/IMG_5457-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456691" border="0" data-scale="61" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/08cff83f88bf198e3ebd45fdd53f7990558d79c8369403285b414d70a7ccccf4/IMG_5457-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3415" width_o="3024" height_o="3415" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0b428b644ad27682421b644af604ba89267ba9f215d71b56a76025fd4e2a870d/IMG_3996-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526580" border="0" data-scale="36" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0b428b644ad27682421b644af604ba89267ba9f215d71b56a76025fd4e2a870d/IMG_3996-copy.jpg" />&nbsp;<img width="3024" height="3532" width_o="3024" height_o="3532" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8e0dccb12027e13d3b848de920f08147b2a653c398cd4497e999b056596a8698/IMG_4078-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526581" border="0" data-scale="35" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8e0dccb12027e13d3b848de920f08147b2a653c398cd4497e999b056596a8698/IMG_4078-copy.jpg" /> THIRD COLLECTION: FAST TRAVEL BLUES <img width="3024" height="3455" width_o="3024" height_o="3455" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/24d8446428a666823f4c7e2cf04887f6e07932854f2f648723c21e97fad07594/HOTEL-ROOM-TV.jpg" data-mid="218759966" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/24d8446428a666823f4c7e2cf04887f6e07932854f2f648723c21e97fad07594/HOTEL-ROOM-TV.jpg" /> Well, there it is. Another random hotel room in a random town, nothing terrible, nothing great. We’re talking Hampton Inn-esque. One 12-hour day out in the brush down, three more to go. Maybe we’ll end a little early on the fourth day. Get a head start on the drive home. Isn’t that nice? And then there’s another 12-ish hours of work to try to sprinkle into these days... and the associated correspondence that comes with it and that plagues my mind ceaselessly... MUST RESPOND TO THEE EMAILS IN A TIMELY FASHION!!! So the laptop is out on the desk. But for now, I must try to put those small miseries aside and take what pleasure I can in my current reality: I’ve showered, I’ve eaten, I’ve put on my sweatpants, and I’ve got Law &amp; Order SVU on the hotel room TV. Maybe I’ll go downstairs and get an overpriced candy bar from the little pantry next to the front desk... I mean, I can probably still charge it to the company card right? Or have I hit my per diem? Ahhhh, fuck it, you only live once right? I’ll be back in a minute, with a Snickers in hand, biiiiiiittcchhh... then I’ll send those emails. <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d98c63cdd1ec5cdf2fceb0b991a34c6575a0b0e14449ffcbf4d008d5ad07389c/IMG_4821-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453381" border="0" data-scale="50" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d98c63cdd1ec5cdf2fceb0b991a34c6575a0b0e14449ffcbf4d008d5ad07389c/IMG_4821-copy.jpg" /> There should really be more here, in this section. It’s taken up so much of my life over the past years, and yet it’s particularly hard to capture - often just an obscure screenshot, or a snapshot when that word still had meaning - and on top of that, those files available have already been used throughout this post, in the intro to all this, and the lifestyle, and the low lights, and the other things to come below. True, all of the sections overlap, but it seems this one may be particularly hard to separate from the others. So perhaps a prior written piece will serve the purpose better here? 12-11-23 Classic form here - another month and change gone by, some five weeks. It has been quite busy, split between moving around for work during the weeks and personal life happenings on the weekends, primarily so at least, and so I suppose with that there is value in capturing this gap - after all, that was one of the reasons I started this brief document… to try to capture the final days of this life chapter. Seven years and change grinding in the corporate world, at a particularly corporate job. Of course, the real hope was to write at least something more constantly, but this last run resulting in this large gap in entries is quite representative in and of itself. Today, Monday, as I left a job site early I had the wonderful realization that I could use the reclaimed time to go the grocery store because for the first time in a long time it would be worth it - I will be home for some nine to ten days! This is the longest stretch since my last writing. And that’s the state of being that I want to express here - the absolute devastation of any kind of beneficial routine, and my lack of - I don’t want to say awareness - being able to consciously step outside of it and appraise it while it’s happening. I feel a general sense of clusterfuck as it happens, but I must respond to what’s in front of me, and so there is no real time, or desire for that matter, to step back and contemplate it. So I plow ahead and I deal with the fallout when it comes later. Like right now - a general feeling of intense tiredness mixed with a vague dread. I am not in tune with myself. I have not been checking in with myself. I have been somewhere very far away… The narrative fades away in these times because all one can do is go. In brief? A fine birthday weekend after the last writing, in town; unidentified work week; a weekend in Chesapeake; a work week featuring a couple days in NOVA, a dinner at my sister’s, and a rapidly scheduled drug test with associated preemptive detox and online and in-person first aid and CPR course; a doctor’s appointment in Williamsburg and then straight down to Chesapeake and then the Outer Banks; home late Sunday night, pack, and up for a 6am flight to Key West; a fine time in Key West but two partial days of real work there; home late Saturday night to be a blob Sunday; up early for a week of out-of-town field work with ongoing other work and 13-15 hour days; home Thursday night and then Friendsgiving Friday followed by… a relaxing weekend; three days of day trips to the field during the work week; a weekend split between Richmond and Chesapeake; a morning drive for a site visit and then to the grocery store in Richmond. Good things and bad things swirl together with no buffer between. There is no semblance of order, and there is not enough of the good or even some form of depraved but glorious running to make up for that. It is just… tiring, and maybe more importantly, it is just… an eddying current. No whirlpool behemoth to try to escape and tell a glorious tale of later. And no strong directional thing to propel you forward into new waters. Just… a slow circle, turning lazily around itself, with you in the midst of it, bobbing stupidly to and fro. After five weeks of that pattern it relents briefly and you come to a momentary standstill, allowing you to pop your head up and wonder - how the fuck am I still here? So much time has passed, and yet nothing has changed. OI! TRAVEL SUPPLIES! <img width="4013" height="3024" width_o="4013" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fc5ead8c948dd39ebc55b8a66d17e8d2c860ab45a34bdc716faeecbc1f7e4970/IMG_4944-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453382" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fc5ead8c948dd39ebc55b8a66d17e8d2c860ab45a34bdc716faeecbc1f7e4970/IMG_4944-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2871" height="3784" width_o="2871" height_o="3784" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c99011f92e933f4316515fd2c4f6d12254b6edd3b1389e48fc3fa674b1045a0c/IMG_4089-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453383" border="0" data-scale="50" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c99011f92e933f4316515fd2c4f6d12254b6edd3b1389e48fc3fa674b1045a0c/IMG_4089-copy.jpg" /> Fast run after an unidentified week of work, up to DC to see a concert, Heilung, after only seeing a couple videos of them on the internet, a truly unique experience, actually less of a concert and more of an immersive theatrical and audio performance, really a ritual if you will... HELL OF A SHOW THO HA HA HE !!! <img width="1170" height="1433" width_o="1170" height_o="1433" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/88442cfc4005f325b3746ef2ac9a29c6109297f432f7f6cc187a8298a9ff54e4/IMG_6194.PNG" data-mid="200457873" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/88442cfc4005f325b3746ef2ac9a29c6109297f432f7f6cc187a8298a9ff54e4/IMG_6194.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="2125" width_o="1170" height_o="2125" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b9c46ee508283748dd470c91c764b8a135dc153cdfc4e6efd858dc6f4828d74d/IMG_6195.PNG" data-mid="200457874" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b9c46ee508283748dd470c91c764b8a135dc153cdfc4e6efd858dc6f4828d74d/IMG_6195.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="1807" width_o="1170" height_o="1807" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fd8c926381bb9e566564229dc76e2a1f7512a21af4a30ed281e853bfb11e4614/IMG_6197.PNG" data-mid="200457876" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fd8c926381bb9e566564229dc76e2a1f7512a21af4a30ed281e853bfb11e4614/IMG_6197.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="2051" width_o="1170" height_o="2051" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c2d85e8e4c0ad11757253c63dad4047ba723539823ef9c2e74300ac31b3371c4/IMG_6198.PNG" data-mid="200457877" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c2d85e8e4c0ad11757253c63dad4047ba723539823ef9c2e74300ac31b3371c4/IMG_6198.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="2072" width_o="1170" height_o="2072" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/645e107b6a7e53c6a437ad5f094cf08061000e0d229c2317e756c9aef3d6cfe5/IMG_6199.PNG" data-mid="200457878" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/645e107b6a7e53c6a437ad5f094cf08061000e0d229c2317e756c9aef3d6cfe5/IMG_6199.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="1896" width_o="1170" height_o="1896" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/323ed9802dbfcdc8cd6c92a291b30abd0ab6cf0d6219d0e65183d023836d069f/IMG_6196.PNG" data-mid="200457875" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/323ed9802dbfcdc8cd6c92a291b30abd0ab6cf0d6219d0e65183d023836d069f/IMG_6196.PNG" /> <img width="1170" height="2140" width_o="1170" height_o="2140" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c17dc868dceeebecb216781cfc16f6bf4cf79aeaaa30454ac1b23f0112a5f100/IMG_6200.PNG" data-mid="200457879" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c17dc868dceeebecb216781cfc16f6bf4cf79aeaaa30454ac1b23f0112a5f100/IMG_6200.PNG" /> right, so it is good to see a viking band perform mysteries of the past, and fantasies of a time and place that none of us can know beyond a book, or assassins creed valhalla perhaps... It is quite good to remember all times of human history that came before us, many forgotten entirely. That being said, it also good to take half a gummy and play Nintendo Switch. That being said, it is also good to have a small upper and the extra alcoholic seltzer and engage in THE CONVERSATION AT HAND, however artificially at first. What it is - that being said - it is good sometimes to try to be present and not aloof, by any means necessary. <img width="2972" height="2955" width_o="2972" height_o="2955" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0ff4066a877e25a686e4be956b9860c2a1762184ba506b083f3948be270b97e8/IMG_4110-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453384" border="0" data-scale="50" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0ff4066a877e25a686e4be956b9860c2a1762184ba506b083f3948be270b97e8/IMG_4110-copy.jpg" /><img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/354b8360bd414e2329adf63525639f5bb4cc28ff698e16e1f019cf24b03be1dc/IMG_4765-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453387" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/354b8360bd414e2329adf63525639f5bb4cc28ff698e16e1f019cf24b03be1dc/IMG_4765-copy.jpg" /> vehicle aforementioned and pictured? yes, but it will be quite hard to replace it in the near future. i drive a quite practical car, a 2003 camry previously piloted by my grandmother, but she lost her mind and thus her ability to drive, and since then her life. I respect her immensely however, and so I respect the vehicle - but that wasn’t the point, was it? I have been working for a corporation, and so I get the corporate rate at the rental car place, and so I get the corporate account treatment... half-true. I also get the treatment earned by never treating your peers like cunts, and by that I mean treating all people as people as people as people... so on the way north I accidentally hit about 96 trying to casually scoot around a slow-moving truck, and on the way back I hit about 106 in the southbound lane of I95, consciously hanging back so I could develop a gap between me and the vehicles in front and in back - never quite a gap large enough to see the light, hence the peaking around 106. But fun nonetheless. <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/42bc5dbdbfab2c94b2b49f90983d7f9c887ea644e96b65db6ecae76b0e3ef067/IMG_4181-copy.jpg" data-mid="200453386" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/42bc5dbdbfab2c94b2b49f90983d7f9c887ea644e96b65db6ecae76b0e3ef067/IMG_4181-copy.jpg" /> Gourmet, alone. FOURTH COLLECTION: NATURE <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/dd806179828d0469f2c8f9e69535fe8be094cd1dbd19bb77a8d2f90154faa923/IMG_3842-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454466" border="0" data-scale="44" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/dd806179828d0469f2c8f9e69535fe8be094cd1dbd19bb77a8d2f90154faa923/IMG_3842-copy.jpg" /> A TUNNEL OF DARKNESS - a tunnel of intrigue, and opportunity. It’s nice to operate alone in the deep forest, through brush and thorns and various degress of impenetrability, through misdirection and false degrees of surety, through shadows and odd half-formed notions, natural valleys in the land - and on high, through air crisp and trees tall and understory open and pure, allowing in the breeze regardless of season, a place in the middle of it all and yet separated - surrounded but not corrupted, high and away and yet here and now - alone, in a vast sea of destruction and heavy misgivings; alone, in a vast and open landscape of possibilty and of wonder... of the possibility of wonder. We are talking about the woods, yes? <img width="2967" height="3957" width_o="2967" height_o="3957" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8b221ca778a0b9c1f8c9e53616130a2af5b31259fc020bf813de23b3420de23d/IMG_4318-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454472" border="0" data-scale="53" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8b221ca778a0b9c1f8c9e53616130a2af5b31259fc020bf813de23b3420de23d/IMG_4318-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3733" height="2982" width_o="3733" height_o="2982" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2603d05a8fa9f43aeb6be49f43e51a3747573d5966a3490954e275ba5adebedb/IMG_4596-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454471" border="0" data-scale="65" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2603d05a8fa9f43aeb6be49f43e51a3747573d5966a3490954e275ba5adebedb/IMG_4596-copy.jpg" /> SWAMPS and their associates, the not-quite-streams, the gradually flowing ponds, the peripheral perpetual bogs... places so water-laden that they’re impossible or at least very difficult to traverse, and so best viewed from the edge, much like the abyss. But of course, like the abyss, you’ll occassionally found that you’ve fallen in and so are questioning how to traverse your way out. Well, the unfortunate truth is that there’s no one answer - no particular answer, really. You just have to find your way through the mud, tripping, slipping, staggering and feeling like maybe it’d be worth it to just give up and lay on down... BUT ALAS! WE MUST TRUDGE ON AND FIND THE OTHER SIDE, CLIMB THE HILL, REACH THE LIGHT AGAIN! And then we can stop and take in the view for a while. <img width="3731" height="2730" width_o="3731" height_o="2730" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fa79e787dbdedb0399472bbde4ce076aec09d680c4b6128f662cc85bcf099a28/IMG_4772-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454470" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fa79e787dbdedb0399472bbde4ce076aec09d680c4b6128f662cc85bcf099a28/IMG_4772-copy.jpg" /><img width="3969" height="2977" width_o="3969" height_o="2977" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8becfc51804fbc68dd94bed7dc595ccafceffdc89075913ef316306b7dec1daf/IMG_4190-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454473" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8becfc51804fbc68dd94bed7dc595ccafceffdc89075913ef316306b7dec1daf/IMG_4190-copy.jpg" /> Ah yes, and the circle of life and all that. Nice to have a front row seat from time to time in this modern world... <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2dbd1ceaeebbbb1ea037f512dfa685fc5cbe2d7f79c6fa6a712b808e9cd0730d/IMG_5347-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454475" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2dbd1ceaeebbbb1ea037f512dfa685fc5cbe2d7f79c6fa6a712b808e9cd0730d/IMG_5347-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2160" height="3425" width_o="2160" height_o="3425" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/36e1a4dc6261f093dd907cd64d3ad8a0f41b6ba8afe59beae1007040436641d8/IMG_3856-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454477" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/36e1a4dc6261f093dd907cd64d3ad8a0f41b6ba8afe59beae1007040436641d8/IMG_3856-copy.jpg" /> It’s good to see the forest through the trees, and it’s good to see the trees too, truly. The highlands, the lowlands, the crisp air on a winter morning and the stifling humid death on a summer’s afternoon... yes, things that can be not lovely in the moment, but good to experience in full.So I am glad for it all. But none of those places are where I truly feel at home. I feel at home in what I know, and that is the sea. Oh, she’ll kill me, and she’ll kill you too - no, the feeling is not mutual. But it could never be. Because she does not feel like that. She is something great and vast and ancient, and we are small and temporal and in awe. <img width="3968" height="2976" width_o="3968" height_o="2976" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c52d0cb029dff4eaad58979eb3070bb3e2cc8aee58957c6bc6c00d72d5ef9812/IMG_4909-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454468" border="0" data-scale="65" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c52d0cb029dff4eaad58979eb3070bb3e2cc8aee58957c6bc6c00d72d5ef9812/IMG_4909-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/66b54d48533b8aebb53f7e77b1620798ca91be1e643992948aa83bb9137c3747/IMG_4893-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454469" border="0" data-scale="65" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/66b54d48533b8aebb53f7e77b1620798ca91be1e643992948aa83bb9137c3747/IMG_4893-copy.jpg" /> Last photo speaks to the above, but also to WHAT’S NEXT! <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0bc0422c53e37fe314b05840d815cbd5ac226564a4cd5dffb025cad719a98a0b/IMG_5021-copy.jpg" data-mid="200454467" border="0" data-scale="53" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0bc0422c53e37fe314b05840d815cbd5ac226564a4cd5dffb025cad719a98a0b/IMG_5021-copy.jpg" /> FIFTH COLLECTION: A BRIEF STINT IN THE TROPICS <img width="3975" height="2981" width_o="3975" height_o="2981" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b0d35961dff01c54caac96df1e86c12b5df4c5bbee41c4ef9bf79dbb65df3566/IMG_1238-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455145" border="0" data-scale="66" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b0d35961dff01c54caac96df1e86c12b5df4c5bbee41c4ef9bf79dbb65df3566/IMG_1238-copy.jpg" /> Ah yes, back to the coral rock island, last stop, last call... southernmost outpost, salacious saloon, turquoise and bright green paradise... ramshackle, raving, run down, run it up... reallllllyyy push it... yeah, ok. Key West again. In my life, the place has become synomomous with escape - run, run, run hard until you can feel the cumulative consequences creeping about in the too-near shadows, and then suddenly, without warning, without tipping your hat to that determined enemy - drop the shit like it’s hot and hop on a plane, get the fuck out of town. Land on the airstrip, cross the tarmac, grab an overpriced pirate’s punch from the same older woman at the same little bar in the same one-room, two-belt baggage claim... head out front to the palm trees and the sea just across the A1A with a light buzz in the warm air. You’ve done it again big shot!!!! Problems of life?? NOT FOR ME, THANKS!!! I DUCK AND I DIVE BITCH!!!! TROPICANA DOOOOOOOM <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a22e1ee6c9202d708bcb15e7885ae18c70100c68bc0bdad621ae811d0ff44919/IMG_4956-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455146" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a22e1ee6c9202d708bcb15e7885ae18c70100c68bc0bdad621ae811d0ff44919/IMG_4956-copy.jpg" /><img width="3024" height="3931" width_o="3024" height_o="3931" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b261f485adfcb8ca626407d30c6280df72cd6489f4cab95850a74cc061d65f4d/IMG_5162-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455143" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b261f485adfcb8ca626407d30c6280df72cd6489f4cab95850a74cc061d65f4d/IMG_5162-copy.jpg" /> So you spend a lot of the days on the beach, weather permitting, and then a late afternoon and evening in town, drinks and dinner. Some variation on that theme. Or just a Day 1 straight into town with rum runners and hot honey lobster biscuits and cigars and a heavy buzz while the sun’s still up. Evening dip in the pool. Or maybe make it to the Sunset Pier for some overpriced appetizers with an incredible view, sailboats and seabirds gliding by in the orange glow. Listen to the people grow rowdier until crescendo at sunset, then watch the crowd dissipate like smoke in a gust of wind. Or maybe just drunken merriment at Schooner’s with some kind of fried fish and coconut shrimp bullshit delight then amble along the docks debating if you want one more... <img width="2969" height="3469" width_o="2969" height_o="3469" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ec7dddc668f64cdbd077173b9605c2fb62b3fd970d8534b02e9f81dea75d1910/me-on-beach.jpg" data-mid="218741076" border="0" data-scale="45" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ec7dddc668f64cdbd077173b9605c2fb62b3fd970d8534b02e9f81dea75d1910/me-on-beach.jpg" /> <img width="2958" height="3944" width_o="2958" height_o="3944" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a8cb008e6f21a72034a39a9399a47d0a69a5d83dc1f43f3367838171b895f96f/IMG_5156-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455135" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a8cb008e6f21a72034a39a9399a47d0a69a5d83dc1f43f3367838171b895f96f/IMG_5156-copy.jpg" /><img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c711215b7e7c0225c14dfd861c7de2202fa5545da71926b5a606327cdc61547c/IMG_5191-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455138" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c711215b7e7c0225c14dfd861c7de2202fa5545da71926b5a606327cdc61547c/IMG_5191-copy.jpg" /><img width="2945" height="3927" width_o="2945" height_o="3927" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/21a9c42775c39c0da7c8b304981de576e439b9d98c7ad5243799b1a81cc18ca5/dockside-night.jpg" data-mid="218741143" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/21a9c42775c39c0da7c8b304981de576e439b9d98c7ad5243799b1a81cc18ca5/dockside-night.jpg" /> BELOW: My mom and I having brunch at Banana Cafe after my dad stormed away from the restaurant into the vast unknown without his cell phone. A classic of our times. Several blackberry mimosas to start. From there, it’s always the same thing for me. The place is French, and run and staffed by the French, who do not give a shit about you, but that is fine when the food is this good. So it’s the inside out eggs Benedict crepe and then a key lime crepe to share. Eaten at the same time of course. This is one of the few dishes that I actively look forward to - I think about it in the run up to the trip. It is preferable to sit outside on the upstairs balcony, but alas, we take what we can get in this life. <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/57798f6dec4cdc6f42588d754c29093e97c838f79b89938afc48fefbd9d622d9/IMG_5179-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455140" border="0" data-scale="48" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/57798f6dec4cdc6f42588d754c29093e97c838f79b89938afc48fefbd9d622d9/IMG_5179-copy.jpg" /> SCENERY SCENERY SCENES SCENERY <img width="2981" height="3974" width_o="2981" height_o="3974" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cdc19de843303f34335b4fbb5b0b717dffd66715d531ec56723f23dbc8483d86/IMG_5200-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455136" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/cdc19de843303f34335b4fbb5b0b717dffd66715d531ec56723f23dbc8483d86/IMG_5200-copy.jpg" /><img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/eb35220b2f331aede44bd366b05799732bef7ed58d5f7ebae227f1e01db9124f/me-at-lagerheads-nice-copy.jpg" data-mid="218741138" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/eb35220b2f331aede44bd366b05799732bef7ed58d5f7ebae227f1e01db9124f/me-at-lagerheads-nice-copy.jpg" /><img width="2875" height="3399" width_o="2875" height_o="3399" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1094cc652fc306ae2e665f5aa9e4a78198f8763b5be5556f2d3888be9b235d8f/street-sign.jpg" data-mid="218741142" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1094cc652fc306ae2e665f5aa9e4a78198f8763b5be5556f2d3888be9b235d8f/street-sign.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d0919e9cbe7062cda34f0edced9332225e39e7bdbdf6d95b7cef7ebdeff95669/IMG_5169-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455142" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d0919e9cbe7062cda34f0edced9332225e39e7bdbdf6d95b7cef7ebdeff95669/IMG_5169-copy.jpg" />WHOOPS!! <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/22b0209192aef93da57992f13b9989f37a8b82bef20d0f9fdd9837c944d6c3f1/IMG_5022-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455147" border="0" data-scale="54" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/22b0209192aef93da57992f13b9989f37a8b82bef20d0f9fdd9837c944d6c3f1/IMG_5022-copy.jpg" /> Serendipity cuts both ways and thus it’s essential to have a sense of humor in this life... <img width="2168" height="2508" width_o="2168" height_o="2508" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b9f81cfab2e7c51411e862dc71f6ec88b6a8a1dc5869da9d177f9fc8a297d476/picture-of-picture-sunset.jpg" data-mid="218741146" border="0" data-scale="41" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b9f81cfab2e7c51411e862dc71f6ec88b6a8a1dc5869da9d177f9fc8a297d476/picture-of-picture-sunset.jpg" /> ENJOY THE SIMPLE PLEASURES <img width="3024" height="3524" width_o="3024" height_o="3524" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/41bed724a7608db3cd2b8638f1bb61d1aad942b4cd0d59f6c35ba0ca28f9ce46/beer-by-the-sea.jpg" data-mid="218741144" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/41bed724a7608db3cd2b8638f1bb61d1aad942b4cd0d59f6c35ba0ca28f9ce46/beer-by-the-sea.jpg" /><img width="2878" height="3774" width_o="2878" height_o="3774" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2ac8de468dac464a1b3d52b2bf3dccea4fe718c4dd0e2b1d750212c6a6d57f8b/IMG_5233-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455144" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2ac8de468dac464a1b3d52b2bf3dccea4fe718c4dd0e2b1d750212c6a6d57f8b/IMG_5233-copy.jpg" /> Yes, this is the same sunset scene as before, but I thought it looked good through the purple lens and natural. I mean it’s a fukn sunset over water. Does that ever really get old? <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/43582b4474de2e871f0cd6fb1c16cb0d6f7be0f400134ecc20ad7a452bfe62da/IMG_5187-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455139" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/43582b4474de2e871f0cd6fb1c16cb0d6f7be0f400134ecc20ad7a452bfe62da/IMG_5187-copy.jpg" /><img width="2476" height="3741" width_o="2476" height_o="3741" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/debf4c160e8d3a188845ab4ab9fad467dbcec492b0885ee84946a8d1b1bfc3bf/me-in-rum-bar.jpg" data-mid="218741145" border="0" data-scale="35" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/debf4c160e8d3a188845ab4ab9fad467dbcec492b0885ee84946a8d1b1bfc3bf/me-in-rum-bar.jpg" />RIGHT CHEERS AGAIN THEN︎︎︎︎︎ AND ANOTHER BRIDGE TO THE NEXT SECTION: Below we have one of a million varities and variants of the Cuban sandwich, paired with a strawberry smoothie that is absolutely made from some kind of strange artificial powder, both procured from a corner store, an actual hole in the wall, within easy walking distance of the condominium. A thing of beauty. While the chorizo and egg sandwich absolutely hits, it’s hard to resist the Cuban mix time and time again. SNACKS BABY SNAAACCKKKZZZZ, one of the great joys of life... <img width="2872" height="3657" width_o="2872" height_o="3657" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1fb5b5de5167c70319fd5a8f1ffc9ad8656f2f63822a90c5c017bc9d571e05c4/IMG_5220-copy.jpg" data-mid="200455137" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1fb5b5de5167c70319fd5a8f1ffc9ad8656f2f63822a90c5c017bc9d571e05c4/IMG_5220-copy.jpg" />SIXTH COLLECTION: LATE NIGHT SNACKS Ok, enough scrolling. This one will just be a photo grid. You can click through to see the riveting UP CLOSE &amp; PERSONAL details of the various foods.&nbsp; We have:&nbsp; 1) HOT HONEY LOBSTER BISCUIT, sitting by the sea in Key West, Seaside Cafe at the Mansion. Very powerful item. There’s a lot of lobster on a sweet sturdy biscuit with hot honey and jalapenos and maybe something else I’m forgetting. 2) CHICKEN &amp; CINNAMON SWIRL FRENCH TOAST at the Egg Bistro in Chesapeake ft. mimosa flight in background; they also have breakfast shooters that u need 3) THE AFOREMENTIONED &amp; PICTURED CREPE OF LORE, but a close up is needed due to its prestigious nature. Inside out eggs Benedict crepe at the Banana Cafe in Key West. 4) AFORMENTIONED self-styled Korean BBQ bowl at Hot Pot 757 in Chesapeake. Pineapple off the grill, got to. 5) AFORMENTIONED glorious Cracker Barrel feast at home, alternative photo because this is a truly glorious moment, the absolute peak of delivery debauchery. COMFORT FOOD 6) FAST TRAVEL BLUES nicer moment on the road, after a day in the field, some kind of salmon “bowl” from BJ’s Brewhouse along with a mini PIZOOKIE, very important item, essentially a hot chocolate chip cookie w vanilla ice cream on top, White Claw in background, something on the hotel TV not pictured. 7) BIG ASS PIZZA from Benny’s; I live right by Benny’s; they sell BIG ASS PIZZA by the slice. Some kind of specialty slice plus cheese plus two mini COOKIE MONSTER Nightingale ice cream sandwiches plus countless quantities of ranch, all because fuck it we ball. 8) CHINESE! This is from Peter Chang, delivered, expensive as hell but what do I work for???? A mortgage? A new car? NAY!!! I don’t get Chinese frequently enough but here it is in all its glory. PORK BUNS 9) CHINESE AGAIN - WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT NOT FREQUENTLY ENOUGH?? I was on a kick, ok. Look closely and you’ll see this is in fact a different order. Note the important giant COLD water bottle left over from the field, the LOW LIGHTS (jungle cave), and a quality television program on the screen. This is my reprieve from the corporate slog and the time on the road and traversing the brush. 10) HOME MADE SHIT - some kind of quesadilla creations with rice and beans. Standby for when I cook. Easy but good, or good enough at least. You must use vast quantities of cheese or it will not be good; I’m sorry. 11) PRETTIER VERSION OF THE SAME THING - ft. greens so it’s healthy; note the chaos of life in the background. 12) SPECIAL FEATURE 1: FISH N CHIPS, somewhere in Scotland, rainy day arrival in Edinburgh, Portobello Beach walk, SEASIDE. This trip was not covered in this post as it occurred in July &amp; August and wasn’t really of the same theme. BUT THE SNACKS STAND AND WILL BE ALLOWED HERE 13) SPECIAL FEATURE 2: SUNDAY ROAST, also in Scotland, perhaps the first eve in Glasgow. WHAT A DELIGHT. MAKES ME FEEL WARM N COZY 14) And to cap it all off, the simplest of pleasures: PB&amp;J at home. Excellent. My preferred PB&amp;J has a fairly small amount of jelly (despite the ooze in this picture, idk) and CRUNCHY peanut butter. READ EM N WEEP. But truly, to each their own, eh? <img width="3024" height="3339" width_o="3024" height_o="3339" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e43e38926204ed496dcb151a533f504812fbbfca022e54ba15cdc39389e962fe/lobster-biscuit.jpg" data-mid="218742473" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e43e38926204ed496dcb151a533f504812fbbfca022e54ba15cdc39389e962fe/lobster-biscuit.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d70e146b2127296c8091596a53b171c1398739e08cfc215a52936220f4e906bb/IMG_4691-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456690" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d70e146b2127296c8091596a53b171c1398739e08cfc215a52936220f4e906bb/IMG_4691-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2973" height="3391" width_o="2973" height_o="3391" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ad34eb32f4fb2c4807898ed9552d844722a84c31d2ff69e87dd4b7dad96d2156/THE-CREPE.jpg" data-mid="218752353" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ad34eb32f4fb2c4807898ed9552d844722a84c31d2ff69e87dd4b7dad96d2156/THE-CREPE.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3900" width_o="3024" height_o="3900" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/27723cb083650ab337291f680bbddf470bafdb6597671b0bbf3d0ee4eeabb326/IMG_5656-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456694" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/27723cb083650ab337291f680bbddf470bafdb6597671b0bbf3d0ee4eeabb326/IMG_5656-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/978f93417a7509c5b57717bfc3261976ee20f12d2e66e95f7f62a748e9c6d479/IMG_5456-copy.jpg" data-mid="199526587" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/978f93417a7509c5b57717bfc3261976ee20f12d2e66e95f7f62a748e9c6d479/IMG_5456-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3800" height="3024" width_o="3800" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0379817dfbc873d04b160d1b40d0f1fdf63bf533632fa9948c0568490f3b05c0/BJs-hotel-room-feast.jpg" data-mid="218752352" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0379817dfbc873d04b160d1b40d0f1fdf63bf533632fa9948c0568490f3b05c0/BJs-hotel-room-feast.jpg" /> <img width="3998" height="3024" width_o="3998" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/35dc174e30f6ad5b7d671bb2287e99067451aa21a5a6f9e190f36335aa1d765d/IMG_4408-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456688" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/35dc174e30f6ad5b7d671bb2287e99067451aa21a5a6f9e190f36335aa1d765d/IMG_4408-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4023" height="3024" width_o="4023" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/00f5236e0f358128c61e87f32f22cdb13f17ab563a5963436514fb4c345e7732/IMG_4543-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456689" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/00f5236e0f358128c61e87f32f22cdb13f17ab563a5963436514fb4c345e7732/IMG_4543-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b5adedd96dc4f4f682f7030b7260bca30a2610291d104f2a29456045e60cfdda/IMG_5484-copy.jpg" data-mid="200456693" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b5adedd96dc4f4f682f7030b7260bca30a2610291d104f2a29456045e60cfdda/IMG_5484-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3771" height="2420" width_o="3771" height_o="2420" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2f08f397480bda7a03f5f5dd51757d65cc88541ac42514f25544185f6edd6095/home-quesadillas.jpg" data-mid="218752355" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2f08f397480bda7a03f5f5dd51757d65cc88541ac42514f25544185f6edd6095/home-quesadillas.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3488" width_o="3024" height_o="3488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5d99f68c73b262dd44f8c12d7cc278df97180d973e6e0f718e41c79bc0554f17/HOMEQUESA.jpg" data-mid="218752354" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5d99f68c73b262dd44f8c12d7cc278df97180d973e6e0f718e41c79bc0554f17/HOMEQUESA.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3761" width_o="3024" height_o="3761" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3647a240fbdc75967094018855c7803a7266bcc98dee11610f1b50809e5ba336/FISH-N-CHIPS.jpg" data-mid="218752358" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3647a240fbdc75967094018855c7803a7266bcc98dee11610f1b50809e5ba336/FISH-N-CHIPS.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3916" width_o="3024" height_o="3916" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0b7e8307e44083b881871faf1a208a8ac418cf547c55b1112276d05f13101cc4/SUNDAY-ROAST.jpg" data-mid="218752357" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0b7e8307e44083b881871faf1a208a8ac418cf547c55b1112276d05f13101cc4/SUNDAY-ROAST.jpg" /> <img width="2776" height="2928" width_o="2776" height_o="2928" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c83859f7845565f001a6f43cb840b0caea8cd1ae51d1f980a3a634eaaa63f282/PB-N-J.jpg" data-mid="218752356" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c83859f7845565f001a6f43cb840b0caea8cd1ae51d1f980a3a634eaaa63f282/PB-N-J.jpg" /> ___________________________________________ Alright, I think that’s it. Or at least all I’m going to do. There’s always more, really. But sometimes it’s enough. And I think that this is, in fact, enough. Yes? Yes, I think so. THE END TIMES CHAPTER ENDBUH BYE NOW !!!!!! https://verycoolstory.com/The-Usual Sat, 08 Apr 2023 19:17:54 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/The-Usual The UsualThe larger arc of my life has been in a state of stagnancy for some time now, and I’ve gotten quite tired of writing about it. This occurred to me just this week while I was sitting on my back porch having a cigarette and pondering my state of affairs - I was reflecting quite negatively on how little I have written anything remotely related to recently, and even knowing this, I have had such little urge to write... and then it dawned on me. Well of course! Relative stagnancy has been my state of being, and I have covered that. I have thought through that and written that in every way - the sea of gray, the circle mire, the spiral cycle. I’ve been through it; I’ve covered it; I’VE FUCKING EXTRAPOLATED!!!! I’ve taken it everywhere it can go and yet after each journey here I am again - back in the same place, waiting for the next ride with the same concept to take me on a mundane adjacent journey. Well, of course. The state is stagnancy and I’m repetitive even within that parameter. So how could I be inspired?&nbsp;_______________________________________________________________________ Well I should say... you don’t have to be inspired to write if you have real discipline. Perhaps. But fuck man, even real discipline breaks down when a ship’s been too long in the doldrums and the food and water are running dry, tobacco and grog long gone. So maybe you don’t need inspiration to write just like you don’t need wind to sail.&nbsp; I also must note, inspiration does not have to lend itself to cliche - it’s not just love anew or travel afar or big big life change, although those things are certainly nice (read: effective) - it can be highs or it can be lows... That is to say while walking the streets of Tokyo in the morning rain is a sure thing, it can also be heavy depression; it can be regretful depravity; it can be a near brush with madness. The point is stagnancy and mundane routine do not lend themselves to inspiration. The myriad possibilities that do lend themselves all share a few qualities, namely, they are something quite different from the daily drone, and they are generally meaningful. A la, reckoning with your shortcomings in life thus far on a cold lonely winter night in the dark is not so fun, but it just may be inspiring. Another day in front of the computer screen peforming mundane tasks for a paycheck is less of a struggle, but it is certainly not inspiring. While you may end up writing a piece, or at least making a change, after the cold night of fervent stirring, the easier monotony lends itself to an evening of TV dinner and mindless scroll before bedtime. <img width="4351" height="3707" width_o="4351" height_o="3707" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/538733ad370f52f5a60644206b3587896c5596b189bbad4249c596a5f588e29c/Chief-Spirit-Guy_alt-copy.jpg" data-mid="174682440" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/538733ad370f52f5a60644206b3587896c5596b189bbad4249c596a5f588e29c/Chief-Spirit-Guy_alt-copy.jpg" /> ANOMALY! ILLUSION! MONSTER! GHOST! or... it just be <img width="2889" height="2950" width_o="2889" height_o="2950" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/dd7f5757d7553d815991081b1972cbf756477e95fa8de7122893c33dcf7989c2/Some-Strange-Dream-print-color-edit-copy.jpg" data-mid="174685725" border="0" data-scale="64" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/dd7f5757d7553d815991081b1972cbf756477e95fa8de7122893c33dcf7989c2/Some-Strange-Dream-print-color-edit-copy.jpg" /> Lately (always) - <img width="3390" height="3360" width_o="3390" height_o="3360" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1a8ae86fd5b949a56ee31edcec7b0ee06f944a72937cf841d5e3081b720965b1/coporate-america-copy.jpg" data-mid="174683298" border="0" data-scale="68" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1a8ae86fd5b949a56ee31edcec7b0ee06f944a72937cf841d5e3081b720965b1/coporate-america-copy.jpg" /><img width="3390" height="4380" width_o="3390" height_o="4380" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/159016cbaef4c8cae19d5539698b2661831e66d03d0e15933d159d9e0e099fbb/29-piece-copy-2.jpg" data-mid="174682506" border="0" data-scale="58" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/159016cbaef4c8cae19d5539698b2661831e66d03d0e15933d159d9e0e099fbb/29-piece-copy-2.jpg" /> It’s an absurd time to be alive. Life used to be much harder, but certainly less confusing. Now it is a constant deluge - information overload is cliche only because we don’t really consider what we mean by information. So fuck that word for the time being. What I mean is this - we have a magic rectangle in our pockets that talks to us, that feeds us through a screen where we see a bizarre combination of our peers and people we’ll never know posting pictures, and videos, and glimpses of their lives or of some strange distorted version thereof. We are constantly aware of what is happening in far flung corners of the world, and all of the horrible things that are happening within our own - we get regular updates, the moment they are available, without a thought to contextualization or what may come after.&nbsp; Earlier today I was taking a shit in the horror that is the modern office bathroom stall, and I read that a six year old girl and her father and maybe some others had been shot for running into their neighbor’s yard to retreive a basketball. It’s a fucking tragedy. But how did I hear about it while I was taking a shit? Did a fellow drone in the stall next to me shout through the wall? Did an alarm bell ring from the ceiling followed by an announcement from the proctor? No - I was, of course, distracting myself from the supreme displeasure of shitting in a foreign bathroom when the update was beamed into my rectangle. And, of course, I couldn’t resist reading because there it was - THROUGH A SERIES OF HAPHAZARD MOVEMENTS AND MOMENTS - the absolute horror thrown into my face while I was in a place I rather wouldn’t be. I’m like a fish in the sea watching that worm dance on the hook - I know it’s bad, bad, bad for me, but I’ll bite every time. <img width="2749" height="3656" width_o="2749" height_o="3656" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/6bc0405ca7a0515f9976c597b7502d7281ca14e48a6a5167fdbacf64b9db88a6/life-is-tough-copy.jpg" data-mid="174684080" border="0" data-scale="51" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/6bc0405ca7a0515f9976c597b7502d7281ca14e48a6a5167fdbacf64b9db88a6/life-is-tough-copy.jpg" /> So it’s important to have a ha ha. For me, this is best with friends, but friends are not always present. So then alone it can be something like this - I am ANGRY. Life is a bunch of bullshit, and I am working a job I do not like, and I am tired, and, well... I felt a stupid rage rising in me - THIS DUMB FUCK, CAUSED ME,&nbsp;TO MISS THE LIGHT! The fucking audacity. I had planned for all this - I had set my alarm and I had risen against my will and I had hit the road to be into the office early - really get some work done with no distractions, and with no traffic on the way in! What a dream. And then here’s this evil bastard - no regard for anything and nowhere to be. He pulled out in front of me without a thought and ambled toward the intersection at the pace of a fat gelatinous slug drunk and oozing after gorging itself on the meticulously planted garden... and then he ambled on through the yellow light and left me there at the red - LIKE AN IDIOT! LIKE A BITCH!! LIKE A PUNY LITTLE ORPHAN BOY!!! “MAY I HAVE SOME MORE SIR!?” I screamed at the sky alone in my grandmother’s old car. “AND SHOULD I JUST SUCK YOUR DICK WHILE I’M AT IT!!??” A stupid, impotent rage alone in the peaceful purple dawn. .....right, so it’s at that moment that I have a little laugh at myself. Funny, no? &nbsp;Ok so admittedly it’s niche content. Better to stick to laughs with friends perhaps; see below. <img width="3500" height="2940" width_o="3500" height_o="2940" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/eeda41c0b72bf0afebc08ab6133822d89eabda8b288b1cca264ad4f30d194187/all-my-friends-are-dead-copy.jpg" data-mid="176112840" border="0" data-scale="73" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/eeda41c0b72bf0afebc08ab6133822d89eabda8b288b1cca264ad4f30d194187/all-my-friends-are-dead-copy.jpg" /><img width="3538" height="4187" width_o="3538" height_o="4187" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/31f5eafec3ccf3479d8711a3fc9dadd2fdcff58647ea0812c5480f554a0cc892/david-and-the-fish-copy.jpg" data-mid="175499858" border="0" data-scale="68" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/31f5eafec3ccf3479d8711a3fc9dadd2fdcff58647ea0812c5480f554a0cc892/david-and-the-fish-copy.jpg" /> Below are assorted photographs from recent times I compiled them and then I reflected on them and I realized I don’t let myself feel joy, do I? ha, ha, ha! So I been to Key West a couple times, on down to Mexico twice though I don’t really count either as Mexico, but one was on a big all-inclusive ship moving about the Gulf, and the other was in a beautiful all-inclusive resort sitting within Cancun... and then there was also a winter weekend in the Outer Banks looking out at my beloved home ocean in her best season. And then of course there’s all the things in between in which you find the little pieces of good, or at least interesting. There is my low light jungle cave home dwelling that I do so love at times. There are the vast woodlands hidden between the hubs of civilization that I frequent for work, the only good part of my work. And there are the odd scenes along the road that appear out of the void and melt away just as quickly... I like collections like these because they capture just that once put together - the fleeting moments are so easy to forget individually, but collectively, they make much of a life. <img width="3857" height="3024" width_o="3857" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/23d0c6bb62b7864bdb5f03644aa1bd62f3f49d0b051a05ca21f6d85e789ec1c4/low-light-room.jpg" data-mid="175498326" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/23d0c6bb62b7864bdb5f03644aa1bd62f3f49d0b051a05ca21f6d85e789ec1c4/low-light-room.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b7c5945646d25836e9cee23285d561dced7b9382012a8226b27378e72fdf3e19/low-light-table.jpg" data-mid="175498327" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b7c5945646d25836e9cee23285d561dced7b9382012a8226b27378e72fdf3e19/low-light-table.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3560" width_o="3024" height_o="3560" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f5fba16f2c273136419d2863121e63c092a6ab100df1729e3c21413a9f1889a5/aloe-head-at-bamboo.jpg" data-mid="175498298" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f5fba16f2c273136419d2863121e63c092a6ab100df1729e3c21413a9f1889a5/aloe-head-at-bamboo.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/bdd86d1b6b258f3d9f4131a3532c80d5e11d5bee53a7eea23d433f41a719603f/nice-distant-sunset-on-beach.jpg" data-mid="175498332" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/bdd86d1b6b258f3d9f4131a3532c80d5e11d5bee53a7eea23d433f41a719603f/nice-distant-sunset-on-beach.jpg" /> <img width="2980" height="3821" width_o="2980" height_o="3821" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5b27e099886ca0276de7710b1678cc2b54112fa2a3803201a9e76b8ad5ff7140/skull-in-woods.jpg" data-mid="175498342" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5b27e099886ca0276de7710b1678cc2b54112fa2a3803201a9e76b8ad5ff7140/skull-in-woods.jpg" /> <img width="2210" height="3304" width_o="2210" height_o="3304" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/948db6880555aa837c09a07c7545c205298cb38ea4db5ce1f120234bc43dcf51/me-robbie-boat.jpg" data-mid="175498328" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/948db6880555aa837c09a07c7545c205298cb38ea4db5ce1f120234bc43dcf51/me-robbie-boat.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/954f2b0cfaa9841df5410b11ecf69d9fd97aad30bab07a54fe72b239d21fef21/multiple-friends-boat.jpg" data-mid="175498331" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/954f2b0cfaa9841df5410b11ecf69d9fd97aad30bab07a54fe72b239d21fef21/multiple-friends-boat.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/36b2b426215376829163f3bb9ca33d7273d32e25f43e7cf12b5fe8d602a2142b/me-tammy-boat-copy.jpg" data-mid="175498880" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/36b2b426215376829163f3bb9ca33d7273d32e25f43e7cf12b5fe8d602a2142b/me-tammy-boat-copy.jpg" /> <img width="1440" height="1512" width_o="1440" height_o="1512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d0d4c7aadd421e4c691186cd69fbf348f442d52c7e89e6fc3263705a4baffbfb/rex-david-lysol.JPG" data-mid="175498339" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d0d4c7aadd421e4c691186cd69fbf348f442d52c7e89e6fc3263705a4baffbfb/rex-david-lysol.JPG" /> <img width="2947" height="3454" width_o="2947" height_o="3454" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5d8ddf2e3ec15f43f4a878f98b91fe42149e4dc5b49eb7eac53142eb2cf3a40f/mom-jo-not-dad-dinner.jpg" data-mid="175498330" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5d8ddf2e3ec15f43f4a878f98b91fe42149e4dc5b49eb7eac53142eb2cf3a40f/mom-jo-not-dad-dinner.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2445290355ad7a37aa8d444742003e00f5eaf6fbb45a253448993e66afe3b69c/scenic-stairs-palm-trees-sky.jpg" data-mid="175498340" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2445290355ad7a37aa8d444742003e00f5eaf6fbb45a253448993e66afe3b69c/scenic-stairs-palm-trees-sky.jpg" /> <img width="2952" height="3944" width_o="2952" height_o="3944" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/78d2b20200d4b612d8ca1660bbc14f61ccd0465550af280c7b40bf007c4b56b7/green-beer.jpg" data-mid="175498319" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/78d2b20200d4b612d8ca1660bbc14f61ccd0465550af280c7b40bf007c4b56b7/green-beer.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="2080" width_o="1170" height_o="2080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ae15b586b331c086ff0b1a2e11b5a6d13d22c91a8b2265d5b47c4467eba29b35/into-the-void-woods.jpg" data-mid="175498324" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ae15b586b331c086ff0b1a2e11b5a6d13d22c91a8b2265d5b47c4467eba29b35/into-the-void-woods.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="2080" width_o="1170" height_o="2080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/187c5a5ae070ed1536cbc7c07b661ed1e4acce1608d22c8bdbf07e08428e2b86/vulture-in-tree-by-house.jpg" data-mid="175498347" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/187c5a5ae070ed1536cbc7c07b661ed1e4acce1608d22c8bdbf07e08428e2b86/vulture-in-tree-by-house.jpg" /> <img width="1114" height="2336" width_o="1114" height_o="2336" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/54cc7b4c9e0724cd0f0021b0e976446945f0af872d487dc6abf5a411166ab151/people-on-pier-close-up.jpg" data-mid="175498335" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/54cc7b4c9e0724cd0f0021b0e976446945f0af872d487dc6abf5a411166ab151/people-on-pier-close-up.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="2072" width_o="1170" height_o="2072" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/468238f65d21227229f96404e5f40762e426f596a43477059b3b8466e3a4b518/patrick-star.jpg" data-mid="175498334" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/468238f65d21227229f96404e5f40762e426f596a43477059b3b8466e3a4b518/patrick-star.jpg" /> <img width="2491" height="3478" width_o="2491" height_o="3478" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7b5c5886eac760fd8fb211a85efe3de1d2312ee2d61da200727e2b6ee689526f/self-in-mirror.jpg" data-mid="175498341" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7b5c5886eac760fd8fb211a85efe3de1d2312ee2d61da200727e2b6ee689526f/self-in-mirror.jpg" /> <img width="1206" height="2182" width_o="1206" height_o="2182" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c918300aa7be51ff9717709f9140ffb7503ce1a575d489600150fa1ce598cd15/drawing-and-friends-on-table.jpg" data-mid="175498303" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c918300aa7be51ff9717709f9140ffb7503ce1a575d489600150fa1ce598cd15/drawing-and-friends-on-table.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="3948" width_o="3024" height_o="3948" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/084f4317abeab103dd7050390eb0ca70577866622c4ae8749458ff351b28f1c8/modelo-999.jpg" data-mid="175498329" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/084f4317abeab103dd7050390eb0ca70577866622c4ae8749458ff351b28f1c8/modelo-999.jpg" /> <img width="2916" height="3468" width_o="2916" height_o="3468" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/126ea15c97ada9c404ee17eda9ec0c9b3357121888e3ca2dca0ba3d8685c2543/hi-tv-keywest-bedroom.jpg" data-mid="175498323" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/126ea15c97ada9c404ee17eda9ec0c9b3357121888e3ca2dca0ba3d8685c2543/hi-tv-keywest-bedroom.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1b51088769cccf7f6f0e8e492c2fce888b55932d090509e276e0806da238d0dd/lizard-on-tree.jpg" data-mid="175498325" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1b51088769cccf7f6f0e8e492c2fce888b55932d090509e276e0806da238d0dd/lizard-on-tree.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c20641aba2686339ffbdc804069eef78480b01be2ac72181cd8ba82bde2abf9d/the-back-road.jpg" data-mid="175498343" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c20641aba2686339ffbdc804069eef78480b01be2ac72181cd8ba82bde2abf9d/the-back-road.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5327ab3a38e086b5a0d2096a45aa1f877db2641081c372cb0a253bc6e2958bae/tree-including-sycamore.jpg" data-mid="175498345" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5327ab3a38e086b5a0d2096a45aa1f877db2641081c372cb0a253bc6e2958bae/tree-including-sycamore.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f7813889b29980b38c9cdbd97b07f1beeb6bf58d9b5df0748e6acbeeac4f6d61/nice-sunset-silhouettes.jpg" data-mid="175498333" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f7813889b29980b38c9cdbd97b07f1beeb6bf58d9b5df0748e6acbeeac4f6d61/nice-sunset-silhouettes.jpg" /> <img width="2979" height="3972" width_o="2979" height_o="3972" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b241660af8aab6244a34b5ef56a32163b498fc3c4df0e3f1c9c6556c8a3014a1/the-woods-open.jpg" data-mid="175498344" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b241660af8aab6244a34b5ef56a32163b498fc3c4df0e3f1c9c6556c8a3014a1/the-woods-open.jpg" /> <img width="2982" height="3976" width_o="2982" height_o="3976" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e4a6e13e50c80a39f12d745cd74e765a9612b1e2a059c5c28896f753114dfb8c/resort-beach.jpg" data-mid="175498338" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e4a6e13e50c80a39f12d745cd74e765a9612b1e2a059c5c28896f753114dfb8c/resort-beach.jpg" /> <img width="1440" height="1800" width_o="1440" height_o="1800" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/40877e86c3d9dd6e6c03e17c72bc82f94171766efb62df4d45b7006b088340d0/purple-sunset.JPG" data-mid="175498337" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/40877e86c3d9dd6e6c03e17c72bc82f94171766efb62df4d45b7006b088340d0/purple-sunset.JPG" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/20959ea0a01a66670809d8ed7b93ee0b85ddb2166c2c27fedf3f6f5ad7308da0/very-nice-trees.jpg" data-mid="175498346" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/20959ea0a01a66670809d8ed7b93ee0b85ddb2166c2c27fedf3f6f5ad7308da0/very-nice-trees.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b67a8666f43f873652e5c18017920c08663c870e8812f7df139954a1ea3af1c9/palm-trees-at-condo-copy.jpg" data-mid="175498877" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b67a8666f43f873652e5c18017920c08663c870e8812f7df139954a1ea3af1c9/palm-trees-at-condo-copy.jpg" /> <img width="1500" height="1872" width_o="1500" height_o="1872" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a039c5ea30c4c4b2cf5e179b9b374ca4e19f971b427f0b01b6d24d847ba64bca/at-jolly-rogers.jpg" data-mid="175506215" border="0" 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data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f4b2618ede28268ed92fd5d1da1bd3609889883d5740509ae032031c665e4851/steph-w-hot-dogs.jpg" data-mid="175506223" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f4b2618ede28268ed92fd5d1da1bd3609889883d5740509ae032031c665e4851/steph-w-hot-dogs.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/903d0f81d09419be1650929bbfe723066a168693d407dd4f31a9ff8b3a8cdfa8/hot-dogs.jpg" data-mid="175506222" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/903d0f81d09419be1650929bbfe723066a168693d407dd4f31a9ff8b3a8cdfa8/hot-dogs.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="1578" width_o="1170" height_o="1578" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b5bcf0fb577a8ff4c1d5aff0bbf79a664934dd64651565d932d9d7f7df4e28df/snek.jpg" data-mid="175506214" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b5bcf0fb577a8ff4c1d5aff0bbf79a664934dd64651565d932d9d7f7df4e28df/snek.jpg" /> <img width="3923" height="2942" width_o="3923" height_o="2942" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a321d6bbc1ea994512378beb63ba4dad59d8fec5bfc1ae3acf6eb90310a38195/people-on-pier.jpg" data-mid="175498336" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a321d6bbc1ea994512378beb63ba4dad59d8fec5bfc1ae3acf6eb90310a38195/people-on-pier.jpg" /> <img width="3473" height="2972" width_o="3473" height_o="2972" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f77b48d49f187d848626cfe03243ad179a6cbaef5c7106469e439c35e5696226/fun-w-friends-in-cancun.jpg" data-mid="175506230" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f77b48d49f187d848626cfe03243ad179a6cbaef5c7106469e439c35e5696226/fun-w-friends-in-cancun.jpg" /> <img width="2965" height="3715" width_o="2965" height_o="3715" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/23f1ac8aa7ff02201b8ce63b6827f8916ed1b802a311d08194f6d10b5ac62747/tammy-at-mcdonalds.jpg" data-mid="175506229" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/23f1ac8aa7ff02201b8ce63b6827f8916ed1b802a311d08194f6d10b5ac62747/tammy-at-mcdonalds.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/6ddca771fe186e840af0b1b73671a001c83078fff367d31a58bf4c905543bfb4/self-in-room.jpg" data-mid="175506219" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/6ddca771fe186e840af0b1b73671a001c83078fff367d31a58bf4c905543bfb4/self-in-room.jpg" /> <img width="2180" height="1282" width_o="2180" height_o="1282" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7638340f2094d1ea3ab804aa85d5e61982009b78933261a29a899797fe0a419e/who-am-i-copy.jpg" data-mid="179322092" border="0" data-scale="79" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7638340f2094d1ea3ab804aa85d5e61982009b78933261a29a899797fe0a419e/who-am-i-copy.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/Scenes Fri, 21 Oct 2022 22:22:25 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Scenes SCENES unrelated scenes to be experienced individually, yes?always seeking the bigger picture why not just enjoy what’s right in front of you BUD _________________________________________ <img width="7500" height="5057" width_o="7500" height_o="5057" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a11e325eb3ac9175829a8db553c8247b94f6a83e0a792820b009e0860e155a05/funwfriends2-copy-2.jpg" data-mid="156984170" border="0" data-scale="80" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a11e325eb3ac9175829a8db553c8247b94f6a83e0a792820b009e0860e155a05/funwfriends2-copy-2.jpg" /><img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ac2583c8e34c5dd36b519a99485b60aef2e8fa36695d128c0506205cc11a9784/BASE-GUYSSSS-copy.jpg" data-mid="156989129" border="0" data-scale="80" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ac2583c8e34c5dd36b519a99485b60aef2e8fa36695d128c0506205cc11a9784/BASE-GUYSSSS-copy.jpg" /><img width="2678" height="1733" width_o="2678" height_o="1733" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1705fc168908394bc7f10b237aeb8f6822a185988a328f4d427817c81f3c4e28/Scanned-Document-copy.jpg" data-mid="162706673" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1705fc168908394bc7f10b237aeb8f6822a185988a328f4d427817c81f3c4e28/Scanned-Document-copy.jpg" /> SCENES SCENES <img width="2550" height="2488" width_o="2550" height_o="2488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e48d006ebeb60bfb7b038d50359bc127fa9435e2a8df297941103d5676576974/1_.jpg" data-mid="162706052" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e48d006ebeb60bfb7b038d50359bc127fa9435e2a8df297941103d5676576974/1_.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="2488" width_o="2550" height_o="2488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/327d0b3e99c24fda3d275a4dae2bb86175c9a9de6b07267103f263cc69655ff8/2_.jpg" data-mid="162706053" border="0" data-scale="80" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/327d0b3e99c24fda3d275a4dae2bb86175c9a9de6b07267103f263cc69655ff8/2_.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="2488" width_o="2550" height_o="2488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/78ad2fd5240ef2bc4c5a06cc964dbc547c00e57a859fde92ba774a104a568e3c/3_.jpg" data-mid="162706054" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/78ad2fd5240ef2bc4c5a06cc964dbc547c00e57a859fde92ba774a104a568e3c/3_.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="2488" width_o="2550" height_o="2488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3f02d3ac9730030e0e5bcbcfaa5c178373c9ed369c62c572f847b6b722eae41a/4_.jpg" data-mid="162706055" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3f02d3ac9730030e0e5bcbcfaa5c178373c9ed369c62c572f847b6b722eae41a/4_.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="2488" width_o="2550" height_o="2488" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9f3307b2dc048ede5e933fd4c6150374a4a598776fd81500334ffc5276ec6441/5_.jpg" data-mid="162706056" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9f3307b2dc048ede5e933fd4c6150374a4a598776fd81500334ffc5276ec6441/5_.jpg" /> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <img width="1701" height="927" width_o="1701" height_o="927" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5f2a2bb84b28d1d29e64b9aa0e49abc53d0107b294c23a123e4650cb5940d659/experience-copy.jpg" data-mid="162706825" border="0" data-scale="41" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5f2a2bb84b28d1d29e64b9aa0e49abc53d0107b294c23a123e4650cb5940d659/experience-copy.jpg" /> <img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e9b8c29ea23ccd9b3c3be3f251cf234d2c47d8238d65147ac762f0fc3e455939/the-hallway--copy-2.jpg" data-mid="162708372" border="0" data-scale="30" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e9b8c29ea23ccd9b3c3be3f251cf234d2c47d8238d65147ac762f0fc3e455939/the-hallway--copy-2.jpg" />&nbsp;<img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/632250b22f7069ee76bf7b240934cbebca8367147ebf6cb5ed8894daf19abb84/self-portrait-copy.jpg" data-mid="156630415" border="0" data-scale="30" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/632250b22f7069ee76bf7b240934cbebca8367147ebf6cb5ed8894daf19abb84/self-portrait-copy.jpg" />&nbsp;<img width="3024" height="4032" width_o="3024" height_o="4032" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/85d7d9105e4d45fdb910257369ec04ec1de103202dff04893863ab9cdd898e98/moonlit-sea.jpg" data-mid="162708371" border="0" data-scale="30" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/85d7d9105e4d45fdb910257369ec04ec1de103202dff04893863ab9cdd898e98/moonlit-sea.jpg" /> <img width="4032" height="3024" width_o="4032" height_o="3024" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c8aa96d1087899dc778c1b0fe612e24f9166ed524ccb1b17d1bc0838078d4c82/with-the-flow-copy.jpg" data-mid="156986933" border="0" data-scale="80" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c8aa96d1087899dc778c1b0fe612e24f9166ed524ccb1b17d1bc0838078d4c82/with-the-flow-copy.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/Chaos-Continuum Wed, 04 May 2022 22:41:47 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Chaos-Continuum THE CHAOS CONTINUUM It’s a state of mind, a state of being, a thing that flirts with madness and disaster and yet has its moments of glory along the way... <img width="2901" height="3599" width_o="2901" height_o="3599" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/dac813895cd915def52e313bb6ce7459b3ee21ed5c9bdd35f1e1811ff806f2d7/chaos1.jpg" data-mid="141693103" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/dac813895cd915def52e313bb6ce7459b3ee21ed5c9bdd35f1e1811ff806f2d7/chaos1.jpg" /> <img width="2889" height="3599" width_o="2889" height_o="3599" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2c775e9572cbf35bdef1348cb49ac2a18b25cdb7ce287e21d73c7d2865d099e8/chaos2.jpg" data-mid="141693104" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2c775e9572cbf35bdef1348cb49ac2a18b25cdb7ce287e21d73c7d2865d099e8/chaos2.jpg" /> <img width="3217" height="3999" width_o="3217" height_o="3999" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7d13fc7ea851f70072b3b3db25c20ee258cd2c5a9e365c2c7e1c2490167378d4/chaos3.jpg" data-mid="141693105" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7d13fc7ea851f70072b3b3db25c20ee258cd2c5a9e365c2c7e1c2490167378d4/chaos3.jpg" /> The chaotic flow of life has a way of wearing on you, or rather, many ways of wearing on you. There can be a constant grating chaos, a low grade thing, like a grinding of teeth through the nights that leaves you questioning why your jaw is sore, why your head aches, why you wake up feeling unrested. This is all of the minutia and bullshit that makes up so much of the average life in our modern society. Then there is the higher pitch chaos that comes in abrupt waves, forget the pitch and roll; it’s crash and hold and drown before being cascaded up through the surface into the air to repeat. Both of these things wear on you, though in different ways and at different speeds. It all becomes the chaos continuum, the spiral cycle, and the vortex. These days I am often gone out of town for work, be it driving to and from morning and evening or staying overnight in a decaying hotel here or there. I am on the road quite a bit, but not in a glorious way. I am eating crispy chicken sliders from Sheetz for breakfast. I am drinking two to three energy drinks a day. I am saying “No beer tonight” at 8am and then needing an ice cold beer from the bottom of my SOUL at 8pm. My body aches in the late evening and I can fall asleep in three minutes flat. The days are long, and by sheer volume of time, they leave little room for other endeavors — personal pursuits, fun, or rest. Well then, when the time comes to be away from this grind, there are generally two speeds at which my mind and body may respond — plain exhaustion and so general lethargy, or a fight against it and so debauchery, excess, and mayhem. This is the spiral cycle, simply put. Just when the time is freed up to do one of those things that I want to, or that I feel like I should, all I want is to do the opposite — i.e. I should write! I should create! I should produce all of those ideas into something tangible, exciting, even outward-facing for the world! And yet, and yet… all I want is to eat a burrito, mindlessly watch Law &amp; Order, and fall asleep within one hour. Or, to stave that off, I will drink heavy pour rum drinks, and either haunt a bar like the reanimated ghoul I am or scribble manic doodles in my journal with a seemingly self-refilling bowl nearby. The best of intentions as I move through the long days, AND YET, when the time comes to be free, I am drained. I am drained in all ways, and so the best intentions are nothing but a wisp dissipated by the faintest shift of the fickle breeze. And the fickle breeze always shifts — it is in its nature of course — and then I am engaged in sloth or mania for the short time I have until the busy busy busy run comes again. That is the spiral cycle, with the busy busy busy run being the primary component of the chaos continuum. These things together with myriad other shapeshifters and unpredictable variables, on repeat, create the vortex. I constantly argue with myself about the line between complaining like a little bitch, cc: excuses, and legitimate restraints on human capabilities such as energy, mental bandwidth, emotional capacity, etc, cc: reasons. Perhaps a concrete example of these things in practice is in order. A few weeks ago I woke up with a crippling hangover on a sleeper sofa in New York City. Not the showing I intended for my final evening there. I’ll spare you the details at this juncture as they are beside the point, but many hours of travel back to VA followed, filled with a first acute then waning close brush with full on existential panic. I was saved from field work by rain on the Monday, and so I had one day at home to do my laundry and all of the work that I hadn’t been sure how I would get done that week. Tuesday to Friday saw long field days, additional work in the evenings, and nights spent out of town. On Friday night I worked until sundown to finish the job and then drove west and north. The northern stint of the drive was on I-95 and featured heavy traffic, followed by a necessary carwash for the rental vehicle upon return that was filled with mishaps too uninteresting to write but adding to the overall distaste, and then dropping the rental vehicle at Enterprise to pick up my car and return home. This would be sometime between 9:30 and 10:00pm. So then the two options come into play - I am exhausted and in dire need of sleep, and yet, I am in need of waking hours spent not working, or transiting, or generally lost in an associated fervent stirring. So to obtain those needed hours of reprieve in the face of exhaustion, substances are necessary. Queue rum n’ weed, the classic combo of our times. Queue music, heavy doodling in the journal, videos, and late night snacks. Pleasant! And yet not how the busy Tuesday morning self would desire the free time to be spent, in the grander scheme of things. I treated myself to a float tank session Saturday morning, for which I was of course not as well rested as I would wish to be. No matter; it’s relaxation embodied for one sweet hour. After that came a soft oblivion, sleepiness transforming into a nap on the couch with the window open, and varying degrees of nothingness after — television, food, more doodling amongst very low energy levels… the postponed state of exhaustion allowed to wash over at last. Detailed as such, it sounds fairly pleasant, yes? And I suppose it is. But when it’s your one full day outside of working hours, it becomes a valuable commodity, and so there’s a feeling of regret and imprudence that comes with what may otherwise be benevolent nothingness. This is to say, the opportunity cost of benevolent nothingness is the possibility of advancing your goals or life in a way that the cold lucid solo roadtrip mind would strongly desire. Let’s continue. One instance hardly constitutes a continuum, cycle, or vortex. Sunday - preparation and departure for a 7-hour roadtrip to West Virginia. Just after sundown my route finally took me off the Interstate and into the strange narrow winding mountain roads that work their way from Virginia to a hairpin meandering back and forth across the West Virginia / Kentucky border, all before dumping you out in the town of Williamson, WV. I arrived sometime in the neighborhood of 10:30pm and found a code in my text messages to enter the hotel. It’s a partially-revitalized 1920s affair, and I walked under a crystal chandelier to an abandoned front desk with a sign to use the rotary telephone to call for assistance. A young man arrived, handed me a key, and took me up the service elevator, after which I wandered the hallways looking for my room amongst a seemingly nonsensical layout and numbering system. Approximately five hours of sleep to begin the week of work on top of an isolated blown out mountain top just over the Virginia state line. The place was a coal mine, is a coal mine, half still active and half long abandoned. The first day was the most arduous, featuring the realization that we were to be traversing varying degrees of mountainside, down to what appeared to be mud or water-filled pits laden with chemicals, and along narrow raised berms between the two; that is, stagnant scary water on one side and a 200-foot near vertical drop on the other, approximately three feet raised in the middle. Right. But more charming features of the week included a small roaming brigade of black stallions on that mountaintop, the realization that we were in the midst of Hatfield and McCoy territory and an impromptu lesson from a local historian, and abnormally early evenings (6:00-7:00pm) at one of the few local restaurants in town, primarily the quickly-determined-to-be best of which featuring cheap drinks and friendly staff. A mixed bag, which tends to be the optimal possible scenario in the midst of the chaos continuum. Hard work through the day, generally pleasing meals in the evenings, and interrupted sleep in a hotel bed through the night — as good as it gets. On our final day we finished early and upon return to town we found that Williamson’s biggest weekend of the year was gearing up for kickoff in the morning - Dirt Days. It’s just enough to take the sleepy, half-decrepit, one-fifth revitalized place into the realm of festive, of happening. So naturally we decided to imbibe. What level of detail is worth going into? A pleasant evening walking amongst the strange little town, abandoned houses and ravaged riverside inside of the flood wall, drinks carried through the streets, drinks one last time at the aforementioned favorite bar, and then special edition latter hour drinks at the spot described to us by the locals variously as “dirty, fun, sketchy, strange…” Cash only at the bar, and an ATM on the wall. I’ve got one more round in me, and I’m paying for all who stay. A long drive back on the Friday. Before I could exit those hairpin mountain roads I became stuck behind a convoy of vehicles trailing a wide load flatbed truck, it laden with the oversized bed of a mining dump truck, and I remained there for many miles. A fitting end to a week spent on a mountaintop mine. It was a long haul back to Richmond during which I primarily let an audiobook roll, not wanting all too badly to engage with my thoughts in any meaningful way. Exhaustion came in sharp upon the return, and so it was a mellow evening of takeout and female company. Saturday then was primarily taken up with a mundane series of logistical items before an evening of drinks and levity amongst a reduced crew of friends — the Friday given in to the exhaustion, the Saturday night spent running from it. And to complete the cycle, Sunday was a much needed day of solo nothingness — the prime exemplar of the necessity of benign nothingness at the end of a heavy run combined with the malignancy of its opportunity cost… the weekend came and went into another week of heavy work with nothing to show for the broader scope of life progress. The following weekend would be on the road again, this time to Delaware, but there’s no need to detail that here. The point in going into detail on these few days and weeks was to provide a concrete example of the concepts that make up the topic of this writing — a real life example of how the continuum, the cycle, and the vortex form. These events are inglorious in their happening, and yet they add up into a mass that is much more than the sum of its parts. So what can we say? I’m well aware that many of these negative perspectives and their associated emotions are the result of the inner workings of my own mind. This is to say, if I approach my life from an outward perspective, I would be forced to admit - You’re not doing too bad, bud! And yet the emotions that come with the thing in practice do not align with that sentiment. The deep feelings of longing for something more, for something profound and perhaps more adventurous, more invigorating, more… meaningful — well, they go unfulfilled and so leave me in a state of either turmoil or a downtrodden low. The feeling that I am not living in a way that will turn my life into all that I dream of it being — this is something that I cannot escape for any prolonged period of time. The constant grind and its associated movements are often ceaseless, eating up the waking hours of the days and keeping the mind in a state of hyper-engagement or exhaustion, and so they become the chaos continuum. This way of living creates the need or at least insatiable desire for extremes in the short times allowed outside of it — that is, actions related to lethargy or mania, all or nothing, manic or depressive moves to attempt to escape the continuum. These actions then fill the small free time until it’s right back into the chaos, and so there’s no profound break from the whole thing, and thus we have the spiral cycle. The spiral cycle continues, repeating and cascading in on itself, and with all of the mental processes, emotions, and habits that it brings forth, it creates the vortex. The vortex is a behemoth, impenetrable from the inside and out, a monstrosity that swirls and roars low, a primal gurgling sound as it carves swaths of destruction across the land. This is the state of play these days, rarely broken, and certainly remaining unbroken for anything more than a short period of time — never more than a tiny glimpse of clarity in the eye of the storm before the other wall comes crashing in and scenes of blue sky and sunshine are no more than a half-remembered dream. I finish writing this now and glance up at that clear sky fondly, smiling, knowing well how soon the purple surging mass will envelop all again and send these moments and written strands of clarity plummeting to the murky depths, out of sight and out of mind amongst the renewed onslaught of the vortex, of the spiral cycle, of the chaos continuum. Yeah, in closing, I can say truly that I know how to weather a storm. But I’m getting tired of it, and I think before too long I’d like to go some place where the breeze blows sweet, and where I may lay down for a while and then, refreshed, put myself into non-fervent personal work with a satisfactory sweat on my brow and an eye toward a newly clear horizon. <img width="1170" height="2019" width_o="1170" height_o="2019" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/56252069d926bcf62e07de1b9eaca18f87d05a5fec90d5906df69c670bda7b5c/C89C8CC8-00AB-459F-BDD8-7C2B4D1FB8FD.jpg" data-mid="144397176" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/56252069d926bcf62e07de1b9eaca18f87d05a5fec90d5906df69c670bda7b5c/C89C8CC8-00AB-459F-BDD8-7C2B4D1FB8FD.jpg" /> <img width="1170" height="1136" width_o="1170" height_o="1136" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ea7376c3f9a536df37275cd6a1ba679eb9c9ac6bb2496d3359d486b2bb181749/0EA32290-A15A-468A-B01C-56DBB8EFC11D.jpg" data-mid="144397149" border="0" 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width="1170" height="1011" width_o="1170" height_o="1011" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9ca50af8fda89617ee3f8fe566ef59b814e8e323f1334fd2cd1d44da6056919c/EE53B5D4-91EA-485B-84AF-5A451F47B5A9.jpg" data-mid="144397181" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9ca50af8fda89617ee3f8fe566ef59b814e8e323f1334fd2cd1d44da6056919c/EE53B5D4-91EA-485B-84AF-5A451F47B5A9.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/WRITINGS Thu, 03 Feb 2022 22:33:44 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/WRITINGS Written Pieces Miscellaneous written pieces old and new.<img width="2550" height="2249" width_o="2550" height_o="2249" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1e8109ea2ea72b0714c97459a2bc469c6de15d232c39cd8e8f53ca2824b86b79/life-kicks--kindness-copy.jpg" data-mid="219095848" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1e8109ea2ea72b0714c97459a2bc469c6de15d232c39cd8e8f53ca2824b86b79/life-kicks--kindness-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2465" height="5128" width_o="2465" height_o="5128" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8c4823df8b9db378d3366fe63b613b268cd3daad955be353cdaf3f3033a62d0a/VOID-SPACE-copy.jpg" data-mid="219097163" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/8c4823df8b9db378d3366fe63b613b268cd3daad955be353cdaf3f3033a62d0a/VOID-SPACE-copy.jpg" /><img width="2550" height="2601" width_o="2550" height_o="2601" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/47052d864526a9ed0b6d163217b680fb16d0b64404ed38e185c8f0d7a5c37345/chapter-end-1-copy.jpg" data-mid="219098498" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/47052d864526a9ed0b6d163217b680fb16d0b64404ed38e185c8f0d7a5c37345/chapter-end-1-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="3900" width_o="2550" height_o="3900" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1b1984fc95f8f0c689aa836fe6372abb1199ca7adbbfc0feca7e7f2796a3ebf0/across-the-world-words-copy.jpg" data-mid="219095846" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1b1984fc95f8f0c689aa836fe6372abb1199ca7adbbfc0feca7e7f2796a3ebf0/across-the-world-words-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2550" height="4257" width_o="2550" height_o="4257" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fc44d2e255258443647bb15c03df65c329016236067e31da5d2a29086c6dd004/unsettled-air.jpg" data-mid="219095847" border="0" data-scale="86" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fc44d2e255258443647bb15c03df65c329016236067e31da5d2a29086c6dd004/unsettled-air.jpg" /> <img width="2147" height="1298" width_o="2147" height_o="1298" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/74cadb2e126978b8b892c6112a2e1bdb9aeacde308424fede86688e039e60d96/monotony-copy.jpg" data-mid="132412191" border="0" data-scale="83" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/74cadb2e126978b8b892c6112a2e1bdb9aeacde308424fede86688e039e60d96/monotony-copy.jpg" /><img width="2004" height="1407" width_o="2004" height_o="1407" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/2139e9e0ee312ae6eeb1acc29e52d2bbb3a044cc8e93d54bac697a54feffb5ad/flush-copy.jpg" data-mid="132420646" border="0" data-scale="83" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/2139e9e0ee312ae6eeb1acc29e52d2bbb3a044cc8e93d54bac697a54feffb5ad/flush-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2400" height="1277" width_o="2400" height_o="1277" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a04e14df157451ec83fc534335d90c586d41807f361fb4a28df879ea04a70d41/purple-vagabond-copy.jpg" data-mid="132410656" border="0" data-scale="83" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a04e14df157451ec83fc534335d90c586d41807f361fb4a28df879ea04a70d41/purple-vagabond-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2213" height="2826" width_o="2213" height_o="2826" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d238fb0e312f0c99154c93fe2db529ddc30377903eb754f3574a0d5c278514a9/life-set-1-copy.jpg" data-mid="132414241" border="0" data-scale="71" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d238fb0e312f0c99154c93fe2db529ddc30377903eb754f3574a0d5c278514a9/life-set-1-copy.jpg" /><img width="2213" height="2826" width_o="2213" height_o="2826" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a9df6b06ccded9af9425e87ebdaf5c21405ba930c3f480ebf048c7ba72d93766/life-set-2-copy.jpg" data-mid="132414242" border="0" data-scale="71" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a9df6b06ccded9af9425e87ebdaf5c21405ba930c3f480ebf048c7ba72d93766/life-set-2-copy.jpg" /><img width="2227" height="3811" width_o="2227" height_o="3811" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f7129ecfc83531830a363d7a418964477bbf577cc9d3188615100c9935e1a29f/circle-mire-copy.jpg" data-mid="133369486" border="0" data-scale="71" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f7129ecfc83531830a363d7a418964477bbf577cc9d3188615100c9935e1a29f/circle-mire-copy.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/Run-Down-Slow Mon, 02 May 2022 21:54:07 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Run-Down-Slow <img width="898" height="959" width_o="898" height_o="959" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ad366eacfb63eeb830c048a92dde461be38bc32b1e857c5a262741602962bb23/times-of-despair.jpg" data-mid="141466468" border="0" data-scale="37" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/898/i/ad366eacfb63eeb830c048a92dde461be38bc32b1e857c5a262741602962bb23/times-of-despair.jpg" /> Time is not kind. As time passes we wrinkle and we shrivel and if we are unlucky our minds turn inward on themselves and our field of vision narrows. This last part I don’t mean physically of course, though that is also true. I mean to say, if we are unlucky our scope becomes more narrow - we become set in our ways, and with that, the slow grind down to the bottom begins. Irreversible decline. Time is not kind in the end. I can see the very beginnings of it when I look in the mirror now. I will not be hyperbolic about it, but I can see the first creases that hesitate to go away when I let my face relax fully. I can see the gray hairs interspersed in the brown. And I can feel the first taste of the narrowing of my scope. The physical components are nothing more to me than a glance and a thought. But the latter, the latter scares me, and the latter I will fight with every part of my being. The responsibilities of being a functioning adult in this complex society and providing for your own needs and hopefully at least a portion of your immediate desires - these things take a toll on the part of the mind that is able to view and remember the vastness of life. I write of the malaise of the monotony of a forced routine too often, but that too takes its toll. This is to say, I do not think it is anything inherent in age, but in the increasing weight of the world that we must carry as move through this life and as time moves past us. We are rocks landed haphazardly in a river, trying to hold our own against the flow. Sometimes when the rain has been infrequent and the snowfall sparse it is not too hard. But then sometimes the world works the other way and the flood comes and it takes every fiber of our beings to remain. But speaking only of these fluctuations misses the underlying point - either way, the water comes constantly, and it wears us down. It weathers us, sometimes fast and sometimes slow. But it weathers us. This is the process by which our field of vision narrows. <img width="982" height="1010" width_o="982" height_o="1010" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/818e8361169f908cd5f3d6c6632f243193accf3b571e60cd7cebeebd366bd448/fuck-off.jpg" data-mid="141466501" border="0" data-scale="41" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/982/i/818e8361169f908cd5f3d6c6632f243193accf3b571e60cd7cebeebd366bd448/fuck-off.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/Mania Sat, 12 Feb 2022 18:12:20 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Mania Mania &amp; Related Impressions <img width="2250" height="2998" width_o="2250" height_o="2998" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a11b630ee3a366ce82ee8059ea7ee61424791b5e74ad9d14ddce6ea80f5ec3e7/girls-love-a-mantis-copy.jpg" data-mid="133283974" border="0" data-scale="58" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a11b630ee3a366ce82ee8059ea7ee61424791b5e74ad9d14ddce6ea80f5ec3e7/girls-love-a-mantis-copy.jpg" /> <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4075245bdde59703ccc0507ed15257b3fec739d826923c37b716d2f82b31d509/highwind_low-copy.jpg" data-mid="133283784" border="0" data-scale="88" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4075245bdde59703ccc0507ed15257b3fec739d826923c37b716d2f82b31d509/highwind_low-copy.jpg" /> <img width="1188" height="1584" width_o="1188" height_o="1584" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5bcfa2c4c892d25740b293416377600f115d20fa075dee7b25aeb08a2f39cb59/self1.jpg" data-mid="133372569" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5bcfa2c4c892d25740b293416377600f115d20fa075dee7b25aeb08a2f39cb59/self1.jpg" /> <img width="1188" height="1584" width_o="1188" height_o="1584" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9c3c6941fdf8106522f4bd23383178520cde9900bfa40aec2006f3e88318eb41/self2.jpg" data-mid="133372570" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9c3c6941fdf8106522f4bd23383178520cde9900bfa40aec2006f3e88318eb41/self2.jpg" /> <img width="1188" height="1584" width_o="1188" height_o="1584" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e30578845b51c7a816a3b81fb349d7cbd01943baa7c3ced537c3a4cb41f9f3f0/self3.jpg" data-mid="133372571" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e30578845b51c7a816a3b81fb349d7cbd01943baa7c3ced537c3a4cb41f9f3f0/self3.jpg" /> <img width="1188" height="1584" width_o="1188" height_o="1584" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1b3afcfba9cdf9b3bb52d90f89c4d1aa21a7ad79a31ecd908f3e7aaca57760c3/self4.jpg" data-mid="133372572" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1b3afcfba9cdf9b3bb52d90f89c4d1aa21a7ad79a31ecd908f3e7aaca57760c3/self4.jpg" /> Sometimes it’s the little things, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s really only the biggest things that life has to offer and nothing else will do. It’s enough fucking snacks; we’re in need of a meal - sit down, tuck in, wine and dine. Nothing else will do. Enough snacks will take care of the hunger, but enough of that. That’s not what we’re looking for. We’re not looking for dried fruits and nuts in a bag with knock-off M&amp;M’s. We’ve had enough of that! We’re looking for filet mignon over a bed of creamy potatoes, special sauce and zesty vegetables to offset, an old fashioned before and ideally a new fucking metaphor after. Truly, I’m grateful, but enough of the fucking little things. I’ve been finding wonder in the sun rising and setting each day. I’ve been acknowledging the joy in laughter and the wonderment of connection in the little daily interactions with our fellow humankind. I’ve even been stopping to enjoy the clouds, and rain, and touch of cold on the wet wind that reminds you to so deeply appreciate the warmth when it arrives. Enough! I want to see the world. I want to experience passion, rising fiery passion, and then the sinking ice cold breaks. I want to do more drugs and lose my mind for a time, but to see and feel things that will change my world. I want to create, to build up, and I want to burn and tear down. Give me the highs and the lows and let me leap and plummet past the mundane middle as I oscillate between. I want saga without cliche; adventure without rest. Run, run, run, and with not a thought to sustainability or longevity. Give me the present, let me forget the past, and fuck the future, merrily. I don’t want to stop and smell the roses. I want to FLY. <img width="2250" height="2759" width_o="2250" height_o="2759" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/342148429e9701e013b968d2d0698132b1ab64a5ee87c72355563da251e67d39/manic-bat-noid_-copy.jpg" data-mid="133284921" border="0" data-scale="60" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/342148429e9701e013b968d2d0698132b1ab64a5ee87c72355563da251e67d39/manic-bat-noid_-copy.jpg" /><img width="2400" height="2499" width_o="2400" height_o="2499" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/351215cecbbbcdeeef7a9fc3d0c85368ae331c1aa26698628ec51b87f8b81859/BREAKTHRUNDOWN-copy.jpg" data-mid="133372725" border="0" data-scale="60" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/351215cecbbbcdeeef7a9fc3d0c85368ae331c1aa26698628ec51b87f8b81859/BREAKTHRUNDOWN-copy.jpg" /> :) &nbsp;:) &nbsp;:) My mental headspace is a strange combination of void and chaos - a nothingness, primarily benign, lies like a warm comforter over a bed of fervent stirring and existential questioning. So... it feels nice, certainly better than it would without it. But then it masks what lies underneath, and so what’s underneath goes unaddressed again.&nbsp; &nbsp; https://verycoolstory.com/Back-to-the-Palm-Trees Sun, 16 Jan 2022 23:53:56 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Back-to-the-Palm-Trees Back to the Palm Trees The bizarre little island that is Key West holds a special place in my heart. It’s a strange place situated south of and beyond the long peninsula that is Florida, and it’s a tantalizing combination of beautiful and derelict. It’s palm trees and turquoise waters, but there also remains a feeling that it is a pirate outpost full of drunkenness and a general disregard for the rules. I believe this is largely a good thing, but like anything in life, there are moments in which it shows its dark underside. Frolic merrily; heave and stagger. So it goes. I went there every year from 2013-2016, and then for myriad reasons did not return again for over five years. &nbsp;&nbsp; This is notes and pieces from the return trip.&nbsp; <img width="2311" height="3033" width_o="2311" height_o="3033" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c4d1038f935f0707c92000e9353356f77ad58d975cd4366e2a50281c1b49240a/tropicana-first-piece-copy.jpg" data-mid="131137688" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c4d1038f935f0707c92000e9353356f77ad58d975cd4366e2a50281c1b49240a/tropicana-first-piece-copy.jpg" /> <img width="2250" height="2998" width_o="2250" height_o="2998" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/62b224acb304d76491f406783bcfe72fbbc28718a4534b56fe443a9189e54674/tropicana-piece-2-copy.jpg" data-mid="131137881" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/62b224acb304d76491f406783bcfe72fbbc28718a4534b56fe443a9189e54674/tropicana-piece-2-copy.jpg" /><img width="2371" height="2809" width_o="2371" height_o="2809" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/422afccae76be0c6f7c9df3dbe5f6278223a2f36e259b90b0e604cf7f2747e11/tropicana-piece-3-copy.jpg" data-mid="131138058" border="0" data-scale="55" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/422afccae76be0c6f7c9df3dbe5f6278223a2f36e259b90b0e604cf7f2747e11/tropicana-piece-3-copy.jpg" /> It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the tropics and felt that feeling - life anew. Life as it could be, life as it should be. Life and a place where it’s easy, and it feels good, and all the creeping constraints of the daily grind and all its associates fall away and you remember what it’s like to feel free. It’s warm, and it’s pleasant, and the colors are vibrant and there’s a peace that flits in softly on the breeze after a few days, and then you remember what vast opportunities this thing holds. This thing that is life. It doesn’t have to be a grind, or a series of dreaded routines to achieve shifting milestones, or even a track of progress to some distant promising point. It can be sweet, and it can be free, and it can feel good as it happens. You can drink rum on a beach under a palm tree and then wash it all away in turquoise water. You can be engaged in the scene all around you, and you can smile and know that it is good as you take it in, and there is no need to be aloof and plotting for the next day or any more distant day, and then also importantly there is no need to let in the dull dread that comes knocking when you aren’t. It’s a sweet day by day existence with pleasantries that are not vapid. The easy joy in the air and the sunset into the sea as the evening breeze brings a slight chill - isn’t that nice? Isn’t that something that makes you want to live more? Isn’t that something that reminds you we are free in this world? <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d3f4a320884e14d2e2b6ed6713287e04f688ca7fcf0ccaa32c9b5090a9d0394c/lizard-grave-2-w-word.jpg" data-mid="131173594" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d3f4a320884e14d2e2b6ed6713287e04f688ca7fcf0ccaa32c9b5090a9d0394c/lizard-grave-2-w-word.jpg" /> the colors in the photographs i took this go round are not as warm as years past, that is to say i.e., less pink and yellow, more deep green and blue on gray stone. this is partially for the simple reason that i wanted to shoot true color, but equally because i really didn’t do any street photography on this trip and so largely forewent the town itself along with the buildings, the people, and all the decor that goes with them. that then is partially out of laziness, but perhaps it’s more because i don’t know that i’ve ever needed a classic edition vacation as badly as i did when the plane touched down in the conch republic, and so anything with even a semblance of work about it became intensely unattractive. give me a rum drink and let me lay down on the beach in the sun. fuck the documentation. so below here it’s cool and deep colors that don’t match the warm tropical whimsy colors shown above. but they are true. and of course, with pictures of lizards as always... <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/39dea31b13a53ec007dae99b4a6043fcbd29d57e7dd7f9764cb315b23d5882ee/blessed-plant-copy.jpg" data-mid="131141571" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/39dea31b13a53ec007dae99b4a6043fcbd29d57e7dd7f9764cb315b23d5882ee/blessed-plant-copy.jpg" /><img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d28ea2fbaf785b771ff90c34f49a7466188038b220d9f2486fd1dc5fb7febb0f/iguana-grave-1-copy.jpg" data-mid="131168679" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d28ea2fbaf785b771ff90c34f49a7466188038b220d9f2486fd1dc5fb7febb0f/iguana-grave-1-copy.jpg" /> <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfce0f6bb1c6eac996b4a8472b251d0e3e78e202e8c84a8d95df7a8d95b2b406/iguana_1psd-copy.jpg" data-mid="131137684" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/cfce0f6bb1c6eac996b4a8472b251d0e3e78e202e8c84a8d95df7a8d95b2b406/iguana_1psd-copy.jpg" /><img width="4396" height="3456" width_o="4396" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f3643851c5ced91f453161e645474c7866e16a189f72a67834ce4e58a8e9a8da/blue-sky-nun.jpg" data-mid="133385858" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f3643851c5ced91f453161e645474c7866e16a189f72a67834ce4e58a8e9a8da/blue-sky-nun.jpg" /> <img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b9bb55bff68b4e0a273ca9e6f5257c61b270a39526a7adcfba5f59e45f7eb716/point-green-and-blue-copy.jpg" data-mid="131138105" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b9bb55bff68b4e0a273ca9e6f5257c61b270a39526a7adcfba5f59e45f7eb716/point-green-and-blue-copy.jpg" /><img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/22e037879ed99e52f8cd721bc450e924d52db9014408d20a62ec2da5ee4c7819/poolside-beachside.jpg" data-mid="133385859" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/22e037879ed99e52f8cd721bc450e924d52db9014408d20a62ec2da5ee4c7819/poolside-beachside.jpg" /><img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7249caee185f01f6806cb8790667910897e814c0771abe2e848625fa783adf62/graveyard-chairs.jpg" data-mid="133386711" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7249caee185f01f6806cb8790667910897e814c0771abe2e848625fa783adf62/graveyard-chairs.jpg" /><img width="5184" height="3165" width_o="5184" height_o="3165" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f0aa75470ff8938f8a0abd3de1af17782e81d4d3bb3d75b4a6450b8bcca94ff9/whole-igauna-on-tomb.jpg" data-mid="133385860" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f0aa75470ff8938f8a0abd3de1af17782e81d4d3bb3d75b4a6450b8bcca94ff9/whole-igauna-on-tomb.jpg" /><img width="5184" height="3456" width_o="5184" height_o="3456" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/6c000a223bb77583c6b93651e028fead69b32212f03319c4a3af9c3f52c6570c/park-in-shade-copy.jpg" data-mid="131137728" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/6c000a223bb77583c6b93651e028fead69b32212f03319c4a3af9c3f52c6570c/park-in-shade-copy.jpg" /> <img width="4271" height="2864" width_o="4271" height_o="2864" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/30513704f608080af71eea6dce5e056af3df99bed2a1d99708a09ce561eb9d57/vortex-break-iguana-full_rev.jpg" data-mid="133388755" border="0" data-scale="76" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/30513704f608080af71eea6dce5e056af3df99bed2a1d99708a09ce561eb9d57/vortex-break-iguana-full_rev.jpg" /> https://verycoolstory.com/Dull-Colored-Life Sun, 09 Jan 2022 23:17:34 +0000 Jolly_Doom https://verycoolstory.com/Dull-Colored-Life Dull Colored Life ︎︎︎︎︎ Isn’t it nice to waste away? To not count the time, to not count the days. Keep the blinds closed until it rains, then open them wide and look out at the wet gray mass. The world’s still there though the sunshine is not. It tapers off slow into the night, dark wet streets and anonymous cars in the low lights, low lights flooded out and stretched into strange sad shapes on the pavement. Drift off into sleep and let the visions grow stranger. Float on down until your feet touch the ground in the wide world of soft blue nostalgia, of light pink love, of a darker green fear seated below it all and only rearing up when your feet stumble and your mind reaches for reality. Reality’s far gone though, and that’s the sweetness of this trip. Float on along with your feet just off the ground into the wide world of everything and nothing. It’s somewhere far away from here, and yet it seems it’s this side of the window to the world, this side of the blinds closed to the dark wet night. <img width="1903" height="1080" width_o="1903" height_o="1080" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d7bdf1a6484187cb1bcaaa281832b0ccbc3c2f2d3d118410bcf0a8a507df0106/whats-up-there-copy.jpg" data-mid="129567415" border="0" data-scale="63" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d7bdf1a6484187cb1bcaaa281832b0ccbc3c2f2d3d118410bcf0a8a507df0106/whats-up-there-copy.jpg" /> It’s nice to slip away and become somebody you’ve never been. Or maybe not that - maybe somebody you’ve always been, but just a different version of yourself floating through a different vision. It’s nice to lose control and let the dream become everything you’ve ever known. That’s when the darker green fear stays below, unnoticed, set aside for a time that doesn’t exist. Past the soft blues and light pinks and into the bright yellows and the flashes of purple and the shifting orange and turquoise. The thin wisps lose themselves at the edge of the void, and then just past the void is the bursting vortex of colorful delights. Once you’re there, anything is possible. All the known pieces of logic, time, reason, space, sense - they drop away. They drop away softly because they are irrelevant. It’s the shedding of an old brittle skin, and it flakes off and dissolves in the swirling mass and you’re fresh and you’re free. Everything is fresh and it’s free. <img width="1903" height="2245" width_o="1903" height_o="2245" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/fa36bbfe3abeabed04524e738adda59be4048dcad140243a23a48b0e6fc7b5d1/nice--isnt-it_spread-copy.png" data-mid="129567416" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/fa36bbfe3abeabed04524e738adda59be4048dcad140243a23a48b0e6fc7b5d1/nice--isnt-it_spread-copy.png" />Then it’s a million stories untold. It can be any place. The place is often like a ripple in a pond, or a reflection in a fun house mirror. It’s a thing with a resemblance to something you know, but it’s not quite the same, and then it shifts dynamically and unpredictably. The people could be called shadows of people that you know, but without any hollow connotation to the world shadow - just another strange shifting form of something else. The feelings are pitching and profound. The feelings are truer versions of the feelings that you know somewhere else. The happenings then, the events - these are perhaps the most unpredictable components of it all. They range from hilarity to terror to profound to everything and nothing. All of these things come together when you pass through the vortex of color and become free. All of these things converge and create life unto itself. You’re not in control, but that’s fine, because the question of control is not relevant here. It’s the other side of the vortex, and it’s no place in particular. It’s the coalescence of all these things swirled and mashed in the unknowable ether, and only accessible once you’re free. It’s infinite stories untold. ︎︎︎︎︎